Category: The Onion

       CARMI, IL—Expressing anxiety over the immense pressure it faced to become various food products, a local legume confided to…

       Cicadas referred to as “stragglers” because they emerge off-cycle may appear this year despite their broods not being expected…

       Bryce P. Tetraeder Let me tell you a story. When I was a child, I suffered from night terrors.…

       ST. LOUIS—Voicing frustration as he discussed his lack of even the most rudimentary skills, local man Henry Right told…

       INDIO, CA—Generating mixed reactions from festivalgoers during her headline performance at Coachella, pop star Sabrina Carpenter reportedly turned her…

       WASHINGTON—In what is being characterized as a massive middle finger to millions of furious motorists, oil prices plummeted Friday,…

       Getting a haircut you truly love can be a challenge. The Onion shares tips for getting better haircuts. Be…

       TMZ, the tabloid news organization known for sensationalized celebrity gossip, has opened a Washington bureau and turned its sights…

       INDIO, CA—Expressing shock and disappointment at the conduct of so-called music fans, representatives for concert promoter Goldenvoice announced Friday…

       LOS ANGELES—Seeking to clear up any ambiguity once and for all, four-time NBA Most Valuable Player LeBron James indicated…