Friends, Coworkers Announce Plan To Gang Up On Depressed Man Right When He Feels Worst
KALISPELL, MT—Presenting a united front in their carefully timed effort, friends and coworkers announced plans Monday to gang up…
Category: The Onion
‘Good Oscars, Good Oscars,’ Repeat Nominees In Forced Post-Ceremony Handshake Line
The post ‘Good Oscars, Good Oscars,’ Repeat Nominees In Forced Post-Ceremony Handshake Line appeared first on The Onion. The…
Joel Edgerton Going Nuts In Hopes Of Getting On Oscars Jumbotron
LOS ANGELES—Waving his arms wildly over his head and yelling as part of an apparent effort to attract attention,…
Timothée Chalamet Kicked Out Of Oscars For Bringing In Outside Award
LOS ANGELES—After flouting rules put in place to protect decorum at the Academy’s biggest night, actor Timothée Chalamet was…
Poll: Nearly 1 In 10 Adults Have Postponed Retirement Due To Healthcare Costs
A survey from West Health-Gallup found that nearly one in 10 adults say they’ve postponed retirement because of healthcare…
Britain Ejects Hereditary Nobles From Parliament After 700 Years
The British Parliament voted to end centuries of political tradition by removing hereditary aristocrats from its unelected House of…
U.S. Suffers Additional Casualties In War It Won Last Week
The post U.S. Suffers Additional Casualties In War It Won Last Week appeared first on The Onion. The post…
Uber Introduces Women-Only Option Nationwide
Uber launched a feature that allows both women riders and drivers across the U.S. to be exclusively matched with…
The Onion’s 2026 Oscars Best Picture Guide
The 98th Academy Awards will take place March 15 at the Dolby Theater. The Onion examines the 10 contenders…
Trump, Mitch McConnell Clash In Oval Office Over Where They Are
WASHINGTON—In a heated exchange that laid bare a growing schism at the highest levels of Republican leadership, President Donald…