Category: The Onion

       WASHINGTON—Urging locals to “fully cooperate” with federal agents, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem called on Minneapolis residents…

       THE HEAVENS—Warning His subjects that they should not mess with His carefully laid plans by playing hero, God, Our…

       BUFFALO, NY—Giving thanks for the hospitality shown to him and his family throughout his tenure with the team, recently…

       President Donald Trump signed the charter for his “Board of Peace” Thursday, establishing himself as presiding chairman of a…

       Ryan Coogler’s Southern Gothic vampire period piece Sinners received 16 Academy Award nominations, surpassing the previous record of 14…

       BURBANK, CA—Encouraging the child to explore the conglomerate’s vast catalog of characters and copyrights, Disney executive John Ervin reminded…

       The post Rams-Seahawks Game Preempted By ‘Everybody Hates Chris’ Rerun appeared first on The Onion.    The post Rams-Seahawks Game…

       PARIS—Clutching their chests in wonder at the newly unveiled work by an anonymous street artist, all 68 million members…

       Second Lady Usha Vance announced she and Vice President JD Vance are expecting their fourth child amid public speculation…

       WASHINGTON—Warning that any attempt to spend time inside a personal residence constituted hostile interference with federal operations, Immigration and…