Category: The Onion

       WASHINGTON—Emphasizing that he was only going to tell them this one more time, White House plumber Terry Robertson reminded…

       The post Drunk Bears Fan Grating Ram appeared first on The Onion.    The post Drunk Bears Fan Grating Ram…

       The post Groundskeeper Unsure What To Do With Unconscious Player Left In Medical Tent appeared first on The Onion.…

       Federal prosecutors secured indictments against 26 individuals they accused of rigging college basketball games, with the defendants facing charges…

       So-called “pink cocaine,” a hazardous polydrug that can contain ketamine, ecstasy, meth, and sometimes fentanyl, is increasingly being found…

       Medical drama The Pitt, which won five Emmys and two Golden Globes in its first season, is back for…

       Scott Adams, the creator of the popular comic strip Dilbert has died at 68, having drawn criticism after veering…

       NEW YORK—Lauding the commander-in-chief’s response to being heckled at a Ford plant as a stunning physical feat, pundits from…

       STARBASE, TX—Claiming that his relationship with the nation’s adults had been ‘irreparably’ damaged by their recent comments in support of…

       Gregory Bovino is “commander at large” of the U.S. Border Patrol’s mass deportation efforts. The Onion takes a look…