Shopping for antiques can be a fun, sustainable, and stylish way to decorate your home. The Onion shares tips for antiquing.
Save time by having a clear idea of what kind of old shit you’re looking for.
Arrive in a van or truck large enough to fit 30+ paintings of pale children picking flowers.
Double check you’re in an antique store and not the home of an elderly hoarder.
Bite down on the chair to make sure it’s authentic Herman Miller.
Loudly ask vendors how much each item would go for on Pawn Stars.
Remember, if you’re not in the Antique region of Connecticut, it’s technically thrifting.
Be prepared to haggle with someone who is emotionally attached to a broken table.
Make sure your certificate of authenticity comes with its own certificate of authenticity.
Give up and buy something new that’s designed to look old.
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Shopping for antiques can be a fun, sustainable, and stylish way to decorate your home. The Onion shares tips for antiquing. Save time by having a clear idea of what kind of old shit you’re looking for. Arrive in a van or truck large enough to fit 30+ paintings of pale children picking flowers. Double
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Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.