Category: The Onion

    Read MoreThe OnionPITTSBURGH—In a devastating setback that could sideline the quarterback for weeks, sources confirmed Sunday that Aaron Rodgers suffered…

    Read MoreThe OnionSaying it desecrates the late entertainers’ legacies, the families of Robin Williams and George Carlin have strongly condemned…

    Read MoreThe OnionMEKELE, ETHIOPIA—Expressing utter embarrassment about the long-hyped event, a desert locust in the Ethiopian Highlands was reportedly humiliated…

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In response to the freezing of federal funds necessary to keep the essential grain operational for millions of…

    Read MoreThe OnionListen, no one’s trying to broadcast private details about your life to the whole world, but you should…

    Read MoreThe OnionARLINGTON, VA—Saying the Pentagon had acted swiftly on an insider tip about the vessel having a “big adventure”…

    Read MoreThe OnionThrough a new government-run website called TrumpRx, drug manufacturers will sell prescription medicines directly to consumers at lower-than-retail…

    Read MoreThe OnionGood Boy, a horror movie told from the point of view of its dog protagonist, comes to theaters…

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Jane Goodall, Author Of ‘15 Amazing Monkey Facts For Kids,’ Dies At 91 appeared first on…

    Read MoreThe OnionMESA, AZ—Gleefully describing the inevitable day when society would collapse and digital files would become unusable, local physical…