Sam Mendes Admits Idea For 4 Beatles Biopics Conceived Before He Heard About TV
Read MoreThe OnionREADING, ENGLAND—Calling his ignorance “a major oversight,” filmmaker Sam Mendes admitted Monday that he conceived his idea for…
Category: The Onion
Trump Assures U.S. Farmers Barron Will Eat Their Crops
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In an effort to dispel any fears that the ongoing trade wars might negatively impact net profits, President…
Shelly Greenfield and Patrick Chester
Read MoreThe OnionBride and groom exchanged vows before friends and family Saturday in a ceremony that delicately danced around the…
Tourist Asks Passerby To Take Boudoir Photo Of Him
Read MoreThe OnionBERLIN—Hoping to secure at least one nice picture as a memento of his trip abroad, an American tourist…
Trump Tariffs Upend Global Economic Order
Read MoreThe OnionEconomists warn that, if left in place, Trump’s sweeping tariffs on U.S. trade partners will wreak havoc on…
Parents Gently Explain To Child That Their Money In Heaven Now
Read MoreThe OnionHUNTSVILLE, AL—In an effort to comfort the child by telling her the funds had gone to a far…
Climate Protestors Throw Paint On The Louvre’s 1988 Copy Of ‘Hustler’ Magazine
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Climate Protestors Throw Paint On The Louvre’s 1988 Copy Of ‘Hustler’ Magazine appeared first on The…
Musk Announces All 340 Million Americans Must Strip And Take Turn Pushing The Wheel Of Pain
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In a controversial move that has outraged those critical of President Trump’s agenda, Elon Musk announced Friday that…
Trump Calmly Reminds Nation That Desire The Root Of All Suffering
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Seeking to reassure the public after his latest tariffs sent both U.S. and international markets into free fall,…
Cory Booker Sets Record For Longest Fingernails On Senate Floor
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Giving Democrats a sense of hope for the first time in months, Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) reportedly set…