‘Jurassic World Rebirth’: Dinosaurs Ate My Homework (and the Box Office)
OMG! 🦖 ‘Jurassic World Rebirth’ Ate the Box Office (Like a Raptor Eating a Goat)! 🐐 Seriously, who knew people…
Tag: action
Another Genius Idea: Jon M. Chu’s Gonna Wreck ‘Hot Wheels’ in Live-Action
Oh, great. Another cinematic masterpiece in the making. 🙄 Jon M. Chu, the visionary behind such groundbreaking films as… *checks…
OMG! Yōtei’s Ghostly Shenanigans: A State of Play So Bad It’s Actually Happening on July 10 (Prepare to Cringe)
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🥳 Sucker Punch Productions, the geniuses behind that *totally* original samurai game, are gracing…
Marvel’s ‘Wonder Man’: More Like ‘Blunder Man,’ Am I Right
Oh boy, buckle up buttercups 🪑, because Marvel’s dredging up another hero from the depths of comic book obscurity! Wonder…
Trump’s Wall Street Meltdown: Is This The End or Just a Really Bad Hair Day
Of course, CNN is trying to make President Trump look like some kind of unstable madman threatening a trade war.…
‘M3GAN 2.0’: More Like ‘MEH-GAN 2.0’ am I Right
Jason Blum, the Nostradamus of cheap thrills and jump scares, has bravely admitted that trying to turn M3GAN into a…
OMG! You Won’t BELIEVE What Trump HID in His HUGE Bill! #SecretAgenda
Folks, President Trump just signed the BIG, BEAUTIFUL bill into law, and the liberal media is, of course, focusing on…
Arnold’s Biggest Paycheck: You Won’t Believe This Cinematic Masterpiece (Spoiler: It’s Probably Terrible)
Arnold Schwarzenegger, the guy who single-handedly made biceps cool and explosions even cooler, has been in some cinematic masterpieces. The…
SPINE: Where Gunfights Become Hilariously Choreographed Fails
Alright, so I waltzed into SPINE at Summer Game Fest 2025, expecting the usual hype-train wreckage. Tensor City? More like…
Zetro’s Back, Baby! Hear Him Butcher Songs He’s Never Even Tried Before
Folks, get ready for the most epic, most groundbreaking, most Zetro-riffic event of the millennium! 🎤 Steve “Zetro” Souza, the…