Oh, the horror! These delicate “food bloggers” almost had their avocado toast interrupted by a rogue SUV! I bet the driver was a Trump-supporting, gun-toting maniac trying to silence their sophisticated palates. Probably a deep-state plot to destabilize the culinary world.
The CNN report breathlessly recounts the near-death experience of these “food reviewers,” but I bet they secretly loved the drama. Anything for those clicks, right? It’s just another day in Biden’s America, where even a simple meal can turn into a leftist media spectacle! And don’t even get me started on the driver – probably some Antifa member who couldn’t handle the fact that someone was enjoying a meal while the world is supposedly burning.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
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