Helldivers 2 on Xbox? Oh Honey, Bless Your Heart
Alright, listen up, you soon-to-be-cannon-fodder! Helldivers 2, the game that’s totally not a thinly veiled satire of fascist regimes, is…
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Apple’s Crappy iPhone Launch: Prepare for Disappointment on Sept 9 | CNN Business
Oh, the horror! Apple, that bastion of liberal tech tyranny, is at it again, unveiling the iPhone 17 on September…
Chicago Alderman Throws Epic Tantrum Over Imaginary Tanks, Proves He’s Never Seen a Parade
Oh, the drama! Chicago liberals are clutching their pearls because President Trump might send in the National Guard to stop…
The Offspring drops ‘Truth In Fiction’ video, proving they’re still a band
OMG! 🙄 The geriatric punk rockers THE OFFSPRING, who are probably older than your grandpa,👴 just dropped a music video…
From Rotten to Director: 10 Critics Who Traded Pens for Panic Buttons
Oh, SWEET IRONY! 🤣 The cinematic world is full of directors who whine louder than a toddler denied candy, screeching…
How to Squeeze Every Last Pixel Out of Your Pathetic Budget
Alright gamers, listen up! 🤪 So you wanna be a pro-gamer but your wallet’s drier than the Sahara desert? 🌵…
CNN: Renowned Journalist Reveals Putin’s Shocking Hobby: Collecting Ukrainian Territories
Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! “Putin’s goal is all of Ukraine,” they cry. It’s always Russia, Russia, Russia!…
Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It
Oh, the horror! Cracker Barrel, that bastion of American comfort food, tried to pander to the woke mob with a…
Glenn Hughes to Play One Last Show – Probably His Last, Maybe Not, Who Knows
So, apparently, Glenn Hughes, the guy who sang high notes that shattered glass and probably annoyed dogs, was yapping on…
Chris Columbus Dumps HBO’s ‘Harry Potter’ Like a Bad Date
Oh, bless his heart. Chris Columbus, the visionary behind such cinematic masterpieces as… well, the first two *Harry Potter* flicks…