Oh, look, it’s Henry Rollins, the guy who yells about stuff, giving us his profound, totally unbiased take on Orange Man Bad 🤡. In a recent interview with Independent Americans With Paul Rieckhoff, the ex-Black Flag screamer (because, let’s be honest, “singer” is a stretch) chimed in on whether or not President Trump can handle the big-boy job of, you know, not accidentally nuking the planet 🚀.
He whined (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET, because who else would bother?): “I don’t think Donald Trump — I saw this early in his first administration — he didn’t understand the incredible power of the office.” Translation: “Trump didn’t do what *I* wanted him to do!” 😭 Rollins continued, claiming Trump doesn’t get that being president means you’re in charge of “the most lethal, well-equipped, technologically intense military force.” No kidding, Hank! It’s not like Trump was out there playing hopscotch with ICBMs. 🙄 Rollins then went on a dramatic rant about sending young men and women to war, as if Trump invented conflict. 🙄🙄🙄 “He digs his power,” Rollins grumbled, “but he doesn’t understand that when he says something, he can affect the stock market.” Well, duh! That’s kind of the point of being the leader of the free world, isn’t it? 🤔
Rollins, in his infinite wisdom, then suggested that Trump should consult experts because, gasp, he might not know the capital of Venezuela! 🗺️ “I can’t find Venezuela on a map. Bring in the Venezuela expert,” Rollins dramatically declared. Clearly, Rollins envisions presidents as walking encyclopedias, ready to rattle off the history of every obscure nation at a moment’s notice. 🙄 He then laments that “we don’t have one now,” referring to a “really smart president.” Oh, honey, please. This from the guy who probably thinks poetry slams are a legitimate form of political discourse. 🎤 He wraps it up with “I’m not trying to get beaten up by some Trump fan,” but let’s be real, he’s totally baiting them. 🎣 “You have to admit this guy is incredibly inarticulate,” Rollins sniffs. Yeah, because Rollins’ monotone spoken-word performances are the epitome of eloquence. 🗣️ And of course, Trump “broad brushes topics,” unlike Rollins, who meticulously crafts nuanced arguments… wait, no, he just yells louder. 📢
Back in 2015, Rollins, ever the trendsetter, endorsed Bernie Sanders. 👴 Because a socialist grandpa would have totally solved all our problems. 🙄 At the time, he called Trump “a bored rich guy.” Pot, meet kettle. ☕
“I’m not a Trump fan at all, but he will say what’s on his mind. Like, ‘No more Muslims!'” Rollins shrieked to the Daily Beast at the time. “You just said that.” And, of course, in this country, a lot of people agree.” Because acknowledging different viewpoints is clearly Rollins’ strong suit. “Trump, one day he held up his cellphone and said, ‘Here’s Lindsey Graham‘s number!’ I could not not laugh. That was funny. He would be a disastrous president, but at the same time I don’t think he wants to be president. I think he’s a bored rich guy just being crass.” 🤣 Yeah, Rollins definitely isn’t jealous of Trump’s success… not one bit. 🤥
In 2019, Rollins, still clinging to relevance, told the Daily Beast that he believed the Trump presidency would speed up the end of bigotry. 🤔 Because nothing unites people like hating the same guy, right? He explained: “Some people in this country have been thirsting for a corny, pseudo-populist like Reagan since those days, and now they’ve got it.” Oh no, not corny populism! The horror! 😱”He’s president now. And I think it’s very likely he’ll get a second term. And so what does it do, or what’s the rendering, artistically? I think it’s going to blow up in their faces.” Artistic rendering? Is that what we’re calling it these days? 🎨 He then goes on a tangent about young people not being bigoted, as if Trump single-handedly invented hate. “I think a lot of that American bigotry — you know, ‘What? Your grandfather’s a funny guy!’ — that’s coming to an end. And I think what Trump and these guys don’t realize, is that they are hastening their demise. And, literally, their demographic is dying.” 💀
“My neighborhood used to be a post-World War II, Russian, German, Jewish population,” he continued. “But the young, Supreme crowd is coming in.” Oh, the Supreme crowd! Clearly, the arbiters of all that is good and just. 🙏 “You drive down the block now, and where it used to be four-foot two-inch-tall people who’d survived the war, and now it’s a bunch of graceful, gazelle-like young people with $900 shoes.” Because nothing screams social commentary like shoe-shaming. 👟 “It’s a different time, and what I think you’re going to see is not necessarily rock against Reagan, or get-out-the-vote concerts, as much as you’re going to see ‘our prom queen this year is my friend Cedric and he got a unanimous vote and the teachers are so pissed.’ That’s what’s going to happen.” Prom queen Cedric? Groundbreaking political analysis, Hank. 🏆”I think there’s going to be a huge rejection of this really antiquated bigotry. And so I think what you’re seeing right now is the old guard kicking and screaming as it’s dying off.” So profound. 🥺
Just days before Trump was elected U.S. president in 2016, Rollins told Columbus Monthly about the billionaire real estate mogul: “He’s just enjoying the attention. Never once did I think he had a real interest in running the country.” Because Rollins is a mind reader, apparently. 🧠 “I think he takes advantage of the anger of his followers. It’s the only way he could get away with speeches that bad.” Bad speeches? Has Rollins ever listened to his own spoken-word performances?😴 “I have watched him multiple times and am amazed that such a ramble gets that much approval.” Oh, the horror of people disagreeing with Henry Rollins! 😱
Nearly a decade ago, Rollins told BBC‘s television progam “HARDtalk” about Trump‘s continued success in the polls: “It speaks of an America, of a systematic dumbing down of a people, who do not question, who are not scientifically inclined, who do not travel; they don’t have a passport.” Ah, yes, the classic “you disagree with me, therefore you’re stupid” argument. 🤦♂️”They won’t go to India and see how a vastly different culture does its thing. And they want their information on bumper-sticker-sized bits of information. And I’m not putting these people down.” Sure, Hank, sure. 🤔
He continued: “Why do they need little bits of news? ‘Cause they’re working two jobs. They’re getting up at 4:30, feeding the kids, going to the cubicle in the car that they hope doesn’t break down.” Oh, the struggles of the common man! So touching…ly condescending. 😥 “And when someone says, ‘We’re gonna build a wall. And no more of those damn Muslims.’ Someone goes, ‘Well, yeah.’ And it’s an easy way to move people to your side with tough talk when economic times are bad.” Because appealing to people’s concerns is, like, totally unfair. 👿 “Historically, that’s how you can convince some people to do some unspeakable things, if you look at the last hundred and fifty years of world history.” Godwin’s Law strikes again! 🚨
Actor, poet, author, radio host and former BLACK FLAG frontman, Rollins has also made a name for himself as a spoken-word artist. More than two decades years ago, he decided to quit making music altogether, because
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
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