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American Man Babbling About Smartphones Like He Knows Something
Elephant Reads CNN

American Man Babbling About Smartphones Like He Knows Something

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN actually admits that making smartphones in the USA is HARD. It’s almost like those commie, socialist…

EPA Admin Says Pollution’s Actually Good For You, Maybe You Should Try Some
Elephant Reads CNN

EPA Admin Says Pollution’s Actually Good For You, Maybe You Should Try Some

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

Folks, can you believe these radical leftists at CNN? They’re clutching their pearls over our EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin daring…

Whale Loses Fight With New Jersey Yacht Club: A Tragedy in Three Acts
Elephant Reads CNN

Whale Loses Fight With New Jersey Yacht Club: A Tragedy in Three Acts

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or, you know, the whale-manity! A minke whale, probably a card-carrying member of the Green Party, decided…

Titanic 2.0: Miami Vice Edition
Elephant Reads CNN

Titanic 2.0: Miami Vice Edition

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

Another day, another tragedy – and you just KNOW the liberal deep state is behind it somehow. Three young angels…

Trump Thinks the BLS is Rigged Like a Casino Game – Here’s How Math Works, Apparently
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Thinks the BLS is Rigged Like a Casino Game – Here’s How Math Works, Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

Oh, the Deep State’s at it again! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has uncovered yet another leftist plot to…

Boeing Workers at 3 Plants Go on Strike Again, Because Apparently Once Wasn’t Enough
Elephant Reads CNN

Boeing Workers at 3 Plants Go on Strike Again, Because Apparently Once Wasn’t Enough

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here: Another group of unionized socialists holding our great Boeing company hostage! 40%…

Sen. Booker Gets Grilled on Dems’ Credibility, Hilarity Ensues (According to Him) | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Sen. Booker Gets Grilled on Dems’ Credibility, Hilarity Ensues (According to Him) | CNN Politics

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Ah, Senator Cory “Spartacus” Booker, still trying to convince America that Democrats are credible! It’s like asking a cat to…

KORN’s Head Gets Deep: Life’s Fleeting, Bro
Breaking, Music News

KORN’s Head Gets Deep: Life’s Fleeting, Bro

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

KORN guitarist Brian “Head” Welch, the dude who once traded his dreads for devotion, is back with another profound video…

TikTok Deletes Huda Kattan’s Video After She Goes Full-On Conspiracy Nutjob
Elephant Reads CNN

TikTok Deletes Huda Kattan’s Video After She Goes Full-On Conspiracy Nutjob

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! Another leftist celebrity, Huda Kattan, spewing anti-Israel conspiracy theories! I bet George Soros is behind this! This…

Josey Scott Sassily Sips Tea Over SALIVA’s Identity Crisis: ‘Honey, It’s Just Not the Same Shade of Spit Anymore’
Breaking, Music News

Josey Scott Sassily Sips Tea Over SALIVA’s Identity Crisis: ‘Honey, It’s Just Not the Same Shade of Spit Anymore’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

In a recent sit-down with Rock 100.5 The KATT FM’s Cameron Buchholtz, Josey Scott, the OG throat-tickler of SALIVA, reminisced…

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