Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Zombie

ANTHRAX Guitarist Desperate Much? Begs Ex-Singer for Bandmate
Live

ANTHRAX Guitarist Desperate Much? Begs Ex-Singer for Bandmate

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Oh, sweet Zombie Jesus, John Bush is back! 🎤 Yes, you heard it right, the dude who tried to replace…

Marvel Zombies: They’re Back and Deader Than Ever, Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

Marvel Zombies: They’re Back and Deader Than Ever, Apparently

FinnSeptember 14, 2025September 14, 2025

Marvel Zombies, or as I like to call it, “Marvel’s Latest Attempt to Milk Your Nostalgia,” is a four-episode animated…

Who Cares Where It Matters
Live

Who Cares Where It Matters

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 13, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Another zombie flick! 🧟‍♀️ A mom named Julie & a priest named Chris trapped in a gas station…

MUDVAYNE Drops Another Banger Called ‘Sticks And Stones’ (We’re Not Sure Why Either)
Breaking, Music News

MUDVAYNE Drops Another Banger Called ‘Sticks And Stones’ (We’re Not Sure Why Either)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2025September 11, 2025

Oh em gee, you guize! 🤪 Those face-painted weirdos, MUDVAYNE (aka Chad Gray – the whiniest vocalist ever 😭, Greg…

Iron Maiden’s Nicko McBrain and Bruce Dickinson to haunt the Monsterpalooza Convention—Prepare for a ‘Thriller’ of a Time
Live, Music News

Iron Maiden’s Nicko McBrain and Bruce Dickinson to haunt the Monsterpalooza Convention—Prepare for a ‘Thriller’ of a Time

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

OMG! 😱😱😱 Is this real life? Is this just fantasy? No, wait, it’s just IRON MAIDEN’s geriatric 👴🏻 drummer, Nicko…

Gamescom 2025: Resident Evil Requiem—Oh Look, Another Zombie Game
Breaking, Games News

Gamescom 2025: Resident Evil Requiem—Oh Look, Another Zombie Game

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

OMG! 😱 Calling Resident Evil Requiem “one of the most anticipated games” is a HUGE stretch. 🙄 After EIGHT years…

28 Years Later Trailer Drops: More Blood, More Ralph, Still No Cure
Breaking, Movie News

28 Years Later Trailer Drops: More Blood, More Ralph, Still No Cure

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sony Pictures just dropped the lamest trailer EVER for 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple! 🙄 It’s like…

White House desperately tries to convince you Trump’s not a zombie | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

White House desperately tries to convince you Trump’s not a zombie | CNN Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re pushing the narrative that our glorious President Trump is somehow unwell…

Dying Light’s Daddy’s Home: Tymon’s Back and Bringing the Beatdowns
Breaking, Games News

Dying Light’s Daddy’s Home: Tymon’s Back and Bringing the Beatdowns

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round! Dying Light is back, promising more of that rooftop parkour that you totally didn’t rage-quit on…

MUDVAYNE Drops ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ After Century-Long Hiatus, Proving They Still Know How To Spell ‘Edgy’
Breaking, Music News

MUDVAYNE Drops ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ After Century-Long Hiatus, Proving They Still Know How To Spell ‘Edgy’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Well, well, well, look who crawled out of whatever primordial ooze they were marinating in – it’s MUDVAYNE! 🤡 They’ve…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 10 11 12 … 16 Next

Latest posts

  • ICE-T States The Blindingly Obvious About US Being A Dumpster Fire
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump EPA scraps summer gas rules to cut US pump prices
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump cuts foreign aid as Obama-Biden era abuses pile up
  • TRUTH SOCIAL DISPATCH: Trump claims war on fentanyl cuts deaths by over 10000
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump plots crushing economic blockade against Iran

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.