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Day: May 12, 2025

NBA Combine Tests How Well Prospects DM Models On Instagram
The Onion

NBA Combine Tests How Well Prospects DM Models On Instagram

FinnMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionCHICAGO—Evaluating whether top college talent like Ace Bailey, Dylan Harper, and Kasparas Jakučionis can actually clean up on…

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Back — Not Just in Movies, But in Politics: «Kung Fury II» as the Secret 2028 Campaign Kickoff
From «Kung Fury» to the White House: 80s Witchcraft Meets Arnold’s Epic Political Troll
Movie News

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Back — Not Just in Movies, But in Politics: «Kung Fury II» as the Secret 2028 Campaign Kickoff

FinnMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

The internet just exploded with a bombshell for movie buffs, political junkies, and conspiracy theorists alike — a 10-minute teaser…

Harley Flanagan and the missus yammer ’bout rabbit food and a movie nobody asked for 🥕🎬🙄
Breaking

Harley Flanagan and the missus yammer ’bout rabbit food and a movie nobody asked for 🥕🎬🙄

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Oh, sweet lord, another washed-up hardcore dude trying to stay relevant. 🙄 Harley Flanagan, the human embodiment of a mid-life…

“Friendship”: A Cinematic Masterpiece (of Mediocrity) That Will Make You Question All Your Life Choices (Especially Watching This)
Breaking

“Friendship”: A Cinematic Masterpiece (of Mediocrity) That Will Make You Question All Your Life Choices (Especially Watching This)

FinnMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Okay, folks, buckle up, because ‘Friendship’ is getting a WHOPPING 8.5 out of 10 stars! 🌟 Yeah, you heard that…

Lemmy’s Ghost Haunts Stoke-on-Trent: Bronze Abomination Erected
Breaking

Lemmy’s Ghost Haunts Stoke-on-Trent: Bronze Abomination Erected

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

On Friday, May 9, 2025, Lemmy Kilmister, the dude who made a career out of singing about speed and playing…

Gene Simmons Swears KISS Won’t Tour Again (Unless the Price is Right, LOL)
Breaking

Gene Simmons Swears KISS Won’t Tour Again (Unless the Price is Right, LOL)

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

In a recent chat with some dude named Kyle Meredith (who?), Gene Simmons, the self-proclaimed God of Thunder (more like…

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Latest posts

  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump
  • Fake news Italy PM claims Trump lied about her begging him

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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