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Month: June 2025

Piggy D. Declares Marilyn Manson His Personal Guru: “I’ll Follow Him Anywhere”
Breaking, Music News

Piggy D. Declares Marilyn Manson His Personal Guru: “I’ll Follow Him Anywhere”

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

In a groundbreaking exposé with Radioactive MikeZ, the intellectual titan behind 96.7 KCAL-FM’s cerebral program “Wired In The Empire”, Matt…

Peter Sohn to Direct Pixar’s ‘Incredibles 3’: Get Ready for Disappointment, Folks
Breaking, Movie News

Peter Sohn to Direct Pixar’s ‘Incredibles 3’: Get Ready for Disappointment, Folks

FinnJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

OMG, get ready to have your minds BLOWN 🤯! “Incredibles 3” is CONFIRMED! But wait, there’s a twist! Brad Bird,…

MEGADETH Celebrates 40 Years of Murdery Business with a Jack Rack Collab That’ll Make You Say “Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying This?”
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Celebrates 40 Years of Murdery Business with a Jack Rack Collab That’ll Make You Say “Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying This?”

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Music lifestyle brand Pluginz, because apparently, music needs a lifestyle now 🙄, is cranking the lameness up to eleven with…

Lisa Murkowski’s Bravery: Standing Up to Orange Man (and Maybe Authoritarianism?)
Elephant Reads CNN

Lisa Murkowski’s Bravery: Standing Up to Orange Man (and Maybe Authoritarianism?)

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, the drama! CNN reports that the perpetually triggered left had “No Kings” protests because, gasp, Trump is apparently turning…

American Bar Association throws a hissy fit over Trump’s epic law firm takedowns
Elephant Reads CNN

American Bar Association throws a hissy fit over Trump’s epic law firm takedowns

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, the poor, oppressed lawyers! The American Bar Association, a known bastion of leftist legal eagles, is crying foul because…

Duff McKagan Claims Ozzy Osbourne Stalked Him Since Childhood
Breaking, Music News

Duff McKagan Claims Ozzy Osbourne Stalked Him Since Childhood

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

GUNS N’ ROSES (the band that still exists, somehow) bassist Duff McKagan (who?) has graced us with a 19-minute (!!!)…

Iran’s Super-Secret Nuclear Hideout: The Place Israel Totally Doesn’t Know About
Elephant Reads CNN

Iran’s Super-Secret Nuclear Hideout: The Place Israel Totally Doesn’t Know About

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, CNN, always the drama queens! “Hidden 90 meters underground”? Sounds like my basement when Hillary’s emails went missing. This…

Judge Jeanine “Lock Her Up” Pirro Now Threatens to “Lock THEM Up”
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Jeanine “Lock Her Up” Pirro Now Threatens to “Lock THEM Up”

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! Now they’re whining about Jeanine Pirro, our fearless, truth-telling queen, daring to be…

Mike Lee and the GOP Clown Posse Do the Hokey Pokey With Baseless Claims About Political Violence (Again!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Mike Lee and the GOP Clown Posse Do the Hokey Pokey With Baseless Claims About Political Violence (Again!)

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! CNN, the champion of fake news, is clutching its pearls over…

Uzum Cofounder Explains How His Company Digitally Solves Problems for 17 Million Users (They Probably Don’t Have) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Uzum Cofounder Explains How His Company Digitally Solves Problems for 17 Million Users (They Probably Don’t Have) | CNN

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, goodie, the UK and EU are holding hands again! Sir Simon Fraser (probably a descendant of that virtue-signaling traitor,…

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Latest posts

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  • Because You Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do Than Attend the PHirst Pham Cookout Official Afterparty

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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