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Month: June 2025

Trump throws a hissy fit because his BFF Russia got booted from the G7 crybaby club
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws a hissy fit because his BFF Russia got booted from the G7 crybaby club

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, no! Not Trump wanting Russia back in the G7! The horror! Can you believe this guy? Probably wants to…

HINDER’s Cody Hanson on ‘Back to Life’ Album: We Finally Stopped Caring What You Haters Think of Our Band (Because We’re Awesome)
Breaking, Music News

HINDER’s Cody Hanson on ‘Back to Life’ Album: We Finally Stopped Caring What You Haters Think of Our Band (Because We’re Awesome)

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

In a riveting 🙄 new interview with the Caught On The Mike podcast, HINDER 🥁 drummer Cody Hanson and singer…

Gearbox Hilariously Confirms Borderlands 4 Will Cost $70 (Because Apparently, Money Doesn’t Grow on Claptraps)
Breaking, Games News

Gearbox Hilariously Confirms Borderlands 4 Will Cost $70 (Because Apparently, Money Doesn’t Grow on Claptraps)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! Gearbox, those masterminds of milking a franchise drier than the Sahara, have…

Richard Quest’s Hot Take: Uzbekistan’s Economy Might Slightly Frown Because of, You Know, Stuff
Elephant Reads CNN

Richard Quest’s Hot Take: Uzbekistan’s Economy Might Slightly Frown Because of, You Know, Stuff

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, CNN is now worried about Uzbekistan? I bet they are! Probably because Biden’s policies have made our economy so…

Samsung’s Geriatric Games: Competing with Apple Watch in the “Still Alive?” Department
Elephant Reads CNN

Samsung’s Geriatric Games: Competing with Apple Watch in the “Still Alive?” Department

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling the fear and pushing for more surveillance, I see. Now Samsung wants to track your every…

EDENBRIDGE, Back with STEAMHAMMER/SPV, Unleashes New Album ‘Set The Dark On Fire’ (Hope It’s Better Than Last Time)
Breaking, Music News

EDENBRIDGE, Back with STEAMHAMMER/SPV, Unleashes New Album ‘Set The Dark On Fire’ (Hope It’s Better Than Last Time)

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

EDENBRIDGE, those Austrian symphonic metallers who are definitely not stuck in 2003, have crawled back to Steamhammer/SPV, probably because nobody…

Minecraft’s Chase The Skies Update Launches Tomorrow (as if you care)
Breaking, Games News

Minecraft’s Chase The Skies Update Launches Tomorrow (as if you care)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Okay, gamers, listen up! 📢Minecraft, that blocky masterpiece you either love or pretend to hate, is getting another update. Yes,…

Ozzy’s Gone Walkabout Again, Hasn’t He? A ‘Seek-And-Find’ Book for the Terminally Bored
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Gone Walkabout Again, Hasn’t He? A ‘Seek-And-Find’ Book for the Terminally Bored

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Los Angeles-based animation studio and book publisher Fantoons (who?) has announced the upcoming book “Where Is Ozzy?”, because apparently, we…

BRIAN TATLER: DIAMOND HEAD’s Not Dead, Just Playing Possum
Breaking, Music News

BRIAN TATLER: DIAMOND HEAD’s Not Dead, Just Playing Possum

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

In a groundbreaking, earth-shattering 💥 interview with Mark Kadzielawa of the prestigious 69 Faces Of Rock (nice), DIAMOND HEAD guitarist…

Teacher Required To Provide Own Salary
The Onion

Teacher Required To Provide Own Salary

FinnJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionBALTIMORE—As public schools across the country increasingly face budget shortfalls, educators like Patricia Harper, a fifth-grade teacher in…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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