Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Day: October 5, 2025

Zero Lounge: Where the Only Thing Scarier Than the Movies is the Tab
Live

Zero Lounge: Where the Only Thing Scarier Than the Movies is the Tab

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**Zero Lounge is showcasing utter cinematic masterpieces every Sunday in October! ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿธ Prepare for earth-shattering horror (or not) during Happy…

Zero Lounge: Where Nightmares Meet Happy Hour (and Cheap Drinks)
Live

Zero Lounge: Where Nightmares Meet Happy Hour (and Cheap Drinks)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**Zero Lounge proudly presents: “Horror” Movie Happy Hour!๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿธ Every Sunday in October. Prepare for cinematic masterpieces like “Halloweentown”๐ŸŽƒ.** ๐Ÿ“… Lineup:…

OMG! Palm Beach Gets Trashed by Hollywood Nightclubzilla!
Live

OMG! Palm Beach Gets Trashed by Hollywood Nightclubzilla!

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**D-Tour Saturdays at Ivy Nightclub in West Palm Beach โ€“ Hollywood invades Palm Beach every Saturday night! ๐Ÿ™„** Nightlife Empire,…

Fareed’s Hot Take: America’s Panties in a Bunch Over China’s Tech Boner | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Fareed’s Hot Take: America’s Panties in a Bunch Over China’s Tech Boner | CNN

Big ElephantOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Fareed, the CNN shill, is at it again, folks! China, the land of slave labor and knock-off handbags, is supposedly…

AC Comedy: Now 50% Less Awful
Live

AC Comedy: Now 50% Less Awful

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**Quackhouse Comedy: Tropicana Casino! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Tickets: $20!** **CHECK DATES ABOVE FOR SCHEDULE.** **Firewater Saloon: $20 (was $40)!** Quackhouse: founded by…

OMG! Palm Beach Just Got a Whole Lot More Obnoxious
Live

OMG! Palm Beach Just Got a Whole Lot More Obnoxious

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**D TOUR Saturdays @ Ivy Nightclub, West Palm Beach! Hollywood invades๐ŸŒดevery Saturday night! Join 2000+ party people!** Largest nightclub in…

Boca Raton Creatives Dinner: Guaranteed to Cure Your Existential Dread (Or Your Money Back!)
Live

Boca Raton Creatives Dinner: Guaranteed to Cure Your Existential Dread (Or Your Money Back!)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**Tired of eating alone? ๐Ÿ˜ญ Join “Dinner with Strangers”! We randomly pick a restaurant, you pay ๐Ÿ’ธ, and maybe make…

Hollywood’s “Glamour”: More Like Glam-Ouch
Live

Hollywood’s “Glamour”: More Like Glam-Ouch

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**๐ŸŽฌOMG!๐Ÿ“ธ Hollywood Starlet Photoshoot with Costumes, Wigs, & Backdrops! โœจ Live your delusional star moment!** Tourists, besties, or movie buffs…

DreamPark: Augmented Reality? More Like Augmented Rip-Off
Live

DreamPark: Augmented Reality? More Like Augmented Rip-Off

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**DreamPark Seattle: Where you pay to exercise!๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ Instead of Netflix, they make you *move*.๐Ÿคฎ They call it “social.”๐Ÿค” I call…

So, You Wanna Be a Star, Huh? (TV/Film Career Advice – Now With Added Hopium!)
Live

So, You Wanna Be a Star, Huh? (TV/Film Career Advice – Now With Added Hopium!)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**Is your acting career a joke?๐Ÿคก Then pay BoJesse Christopher Acting Studio for a 2-hour “ACTING CAREER CONSULTATION”! In-Person: $275,…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 4 Next

Latest posts

  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Tony Iommi still making riffs because what else is he gonna do
  • Lollapalooza 2026 Sizzles with Jennie and Wolf Alice Sets
  • Phil Collins Near Death Scare in 2024 Due to Excessive Drinking
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump Wins Bedminster Club Championship With Score of 70

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Todayโ€™s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2025
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Sep   Nov »
Copyright ยฉ 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.