Your Vote “On the Line” (Like Your Sanity After Watching CNN)
Oh, the horror! CNN, the Ministry of Misinformation, is wailing about “gerrymandering” again! As if those commie Democrats wouldn’t draw…
Day: October 30, 2025
Immigration Judge Shows Mercy on Chicago Dad Whose Kid Has the Big C
Another sob story from the liberal media! They parade this poor illegal immigrant around because his daughter has cancer. And…
Between the Buried and Me in Charlotte, NC (10/30/2025)
Progressive metalcore band from Raleigh, North Carolina Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…
Hail the Sun in Charlotte, NC (10/30/2025)
American post-hardcore from Chico, California Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…
Delta Sleep in Charlotte, NC (10/30/2025)
British math rock from Canterbury Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…
Lilith’s CRINGE Big Ol’ Golden Show Presents BOObnanza Spooktacular
**OMG! 🙄 Friday, October 31, 2025, 8 PM! Lilith’s Big Ol’ Golden Show: BOOnanza Spooktacular! 👻 Doors at 7:30 PM,…
Park After Dark: A Sophisticated Soiree for Geriatrics (21+ Only, No Exceptions)
OMG! 🙄 Tukwila Family Fun Center & Bullwinkle’s Restaurant, Oct 31, 2025, 7:00 PM! 🤮 21+ VIP Private Event!😱 Pizza…
OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)
Oh, the Deep State’s favorite fruit peddler, Apple, released their quarterly earnings, and you won’t believe the spin they’re trying…
IT Guy Had Affinity For Cords At Young Age
DES MOINES, IOWA—Revealing that his fascination began practically as soon as he could crawl behind the television, local IT…
Chicago ICE Raids By The Numbers
The Department of Homeland Security has been carrying out “Operation Midway Blitz” since early September. The Onion examines the…