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Day: December 16, 2025

Dead Island 3 Finally Crawling Out of Its Own Grave—Release Date? Not Today, Zombie!
Breaking, Games News

Dead Island 3 Finally Crawling Out of Its Own Grave—Release Date? Not Today, Zombie!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Dead Island 3 Is Officially In Development, Because Apparently We All Didn’t Learn Our Lesson Last Time 🧟‍♂️💀…

BATTLE BEAST Recruits New Vocalist Marina La Torraca Because the Old One Finally Got Tired of Pretending to Be Dramatic
Breaking, Music News

BATTLE BEAST Recruits New Vocalist Marina La Torraca Because the Old One Finally Got Tired of Pretending to Be Dramatic

Chord F. DiscordDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

Move over, Noora, there’s a new diva in town! 🦸‍♀️ Finnish power metal juggernauts BATTLE BEAST have just dropped a…

‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Review: Finally, a Movie That Proves Fireworks Are Better Than Trees
Breaking, Movie News

‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Review: Finally, a Movie That Proves Fireworks Are Better Than Trees

FinnDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

James Cameron Just Dropped the Ultimate Space Soap Opera and It’s 3 Hours and 15 Minutes of Glorious Alien Drama…

Nintendo Dangles Digital Carrots At Addicted Fans With New Animal Crossing Features
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Dangles Digital Carrots At Addicted Fans With New Animal Crossing Features

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Nintendo Has Decided That January 15th Is the Day We Finally Ascend to Our Highest Animal Crossing Selves…

AMY LEE: EVANESCENCE’s New Album Will Arrive In 2026—Just In Time To Save Our Souls From Eternal Silence
Breaking, Music News

AMY LEE: EVANESCENCE’s New Album Will Arrive In 2026—Just In Time To Save Our Souls From Eternal Silence

Chord F. DiscordDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

Amy Lee, the queen of goth-tastic angst and dramatic piano flourishes, has finally blessed humanity with the news we’ve all…

Rian Johnson’s Brain Has Unleashed More Whodunit Shenanigans—Knives Out 4 May Actually Solve the Mystery of How He Keeps Getting Greenlights
Breaking, Movie News

Rian Johnson’s Brain Has Unleashed More Whodunit Shenanigans—Knives Out 4 May Actually Solve the Mystery of How He Keeps Getting Greenlights

FinnDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

BREAKING: Rian Johnson Has “Ideas” For Fourth Knives Out Movie, Which Is Apparently Something We All Needed To Know Today…

Shaping Responsible Innovation Together – Because Someone’s Gotta Stop the AI from Turning Us All Into Paperclips
Live

Shaping Responsible Innovation Together – Because Someone’s Gotta Stop the AI from Turning Us All Into Paperclips

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 16, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Scientists and CEOs unite to stop biotech from becoming too evil, too fast 🚨 📅 Dec 11, 2025,…

Is My Kid’s Speech Lagging or Just Plotting World Domination in Baby Talk
Live

Is My Kid’s Speech Lagging or Just Plotting World Domination in Baby Talk

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 16, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Some Nice Lady Will Stare at Your Screaming Toddler Over Zoom for Free! 🚨 Join “Is My Child’s…

The Great American Employment Circus: Clown Cars, Tightropes, and Other Job Report Shenanigans
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Great American Employment Circus: Clown Cars, Tightropes, and Other Job Report Shenanigans

Big ElephantDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

Democrat Chaos Crashes Economy: Jobs Report Shows 40,000 Jobs Added, Unemployment Stays at 4.4% as Government Shutdown Wrecks Data Collection…

Why 2026 Could Be the Year of Anti-AI Marketing (Because Robots Stole Our Jokes)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Why 2026 Could Be the Year of Anti-AI Marketing (Because Robots Stole Our Jokes)

Big ElephantDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

The AI Slopocalypse: How the Liberal Elite’s Obsession with Artificial Intelligence Has Infested Everything Good in America Well, would you…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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