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Month: December 2025

Uncle Sam Finally Identifies the Guys Who Signed Up for Adventure but Got Ambushed in Syria Instead
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Uncle Sam Finally Identifies the Guys Who Signed Up for Adventure but Got Ambushed in Syria Instead

Big ElephantDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

The two US Army soldiers killed in Syria on Saturday were Sgt. Edgar Brian Torres Tovar, 25, of Des Moines,…

Babylon Bee

Australian Man Who Wrestled Gun Away From Terrorist Charged With Unlawful Firearm Possession

FinnDecember 15, 2025

    SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA — A heroic man who bravely wrestled away a rifle from an Islamic terrorist during the deadly…

All-Aggie Hullabaloo Turns Into a Time-Wasting Circus Brought to You by AXIA Clocks
Events

All-Aggie Hullabaloo Turns Into a Time-Wasting Circus Brought to You by AXIA Clocks

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 15, 2025

🚨 Attention Aggies! The All-Aggie Hullabaloo™ is back! 🎉 For just $0 (yes, FREE!), you too can attend this thrilling…

US Government Forms Tech Force to Recruit AI Wizards and Nerds
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Government Forms Tech Force to Recruit AI Wizards and Nerds

Big ElephantDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

Government’s Latest AI Initiative: Hiring Tech Bro’s to Fix the Bureaucracy In a stunning revelation, the Trump administration has launched…

The Reiners’ Kid Nick Gets a Mystery Felony Upgrade Right After Mom and Dad Checked Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Reiners’ Kid Nick Gets a Mystery Felony Upgrade Right After Mom and Dad Checked Out

Big ElephantDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

American Horror Story: Brentwood Edition – Another Hollywood Elite Dies Under Mysterious Circumstances, and the Plot Thickens! Well, well, well,…

FBI Interrupts California New Year’s Eve Bash by Arresting Four Guys With Poor Fireworks Plans
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Interrupts California New Year’s Eve Bash by Arresting Four Guys With Poor Fireworks Plans

Big ElephantDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

Leftist Eco-Terrorists Foiled in Bizarre New Year’s Eve Bomb Plot Because of Their Oppressive Signal App In another stunning victory…

AC/DC’s PHIL RUDD Finally Joins March 2026 ‘Full Metal Orchestra’ Because Apparently They Couldn’t Book A Drum Machine
Events, Music News

AC/DC’s PHIL RUDD Finally Joins March 2026 ‘Full Metal Orchestra’ Because Apparently They Couldn’t Book A Drum Machine

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

Cue the thunderous roar of a thousand kettles boiling in unison — Phil Rudd, the human metronome with a criminal…

Bob Odenkirk Gets Weird in Ben Wheatley’s So-Called ‘Normal’ (Spoiler: It’s Not
Breaking, Movie News

Bob Odenkirk Gets Weird in Ben Wheatley’s So-Called ‘Normal’ (Spoiler: It’s Not

FinnDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Bob Odenkirk, the man who once played a lawyer so morally compromised he made used car salesmen look like…

Stranger Things 5 – Volume 2 Trailer Drops and the Kids Haven’t Grown Up Yet
Breaking, Movie News

Stranger Things 5 – Volume 2 Trailer Drops and the Kids Haven’t Grown Up Yet

FinnDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The World Might End on Boxing Day, So Cancel Your Sales! 🚨 In a shocking turn of…

In-N-Out Removes ‘67’ From Ordering System
The Onion

In-N-Out Removes ‘67’ From Ordering System

FinnDecember 15, 2025

       In-N-Out Burger quietly removed “67” from its order call-out system nationwide, apparently to deter youths from erupting into cheers…

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Latest posts

  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
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  • Fake news Italy PM claims Trump lied about her begging him
  • Retirement Income Dilemmas Because You Clearly Didn’t Save Enough
  • Carla Vasques Spills the Tea on Deficiency and Common Sense Policies or Lack Thereof

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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