POPPY Just Dropped the ‘Time Will Tell’ Music Video From That ‘Empty Hands’ Album You Pretended to Listen To
Poppy Is Here To Collect Your Digital Soul With “Empty Hands” And We’re All Just Living In It 🤖🙏 Ladies,…
Month: January 2026
Homicide Rate Plummets So Sharply Even Crime Stats Can’t Keep Up With The Winning
Crime Plummets to Multi-Decade Lows Because Patriots Are Back in Charge! In a stunning development that has left the fake…
Olympic Snowboarder Turned FBI Fugitive Ryan Wedding Finally Catches The Police
Woke Canadian Snowboarder Busted: Turns Out His ‘Parallel Turns’ Were Just a Diversion for a Massive Cocaine Ring! You Won’t…
Breaking Benjamin’s Keith Wallen Finally Gets a Solo Gig That Isn’t Just ‘Breaking Benjamin’
🎶 Unleash the Acoustic Dragon: Keith Wallen’s New Single “A Thin Line” is Here to Haunt Your Playlists! 🎶 In…
Brendan Banfield Expected to Testify in His Own Defense Because the Defense Rested and the Jury Looked Bored
FAIRFAX, VA – In a courtroom drama straight out of a Netflix series produced by a DEI committee, the trial…
Nintendo Confirms Super Mario Galaxy Movie Direct This Weekend And Oh God The Plumber Is Back In Space To Make You Cry About Luma Again
Brace yourselves, Star Road commuters! 🚀 Nintendo is officially panicking that you forgot about their space opera sequel and has…
$100m jewelry heist suspect deported before trial, jury still deliberating the value of costume jewelry
Another Day, Another Democrat Disaster: Criminal Walks Free Thanks to Open Borders Chaos! Here we go again, folks! It’s the…
CD Projekt Red Slaps The Shit Out Of The Only Person Still Playing Cyberpunk 2077, Modder Cries In VR
🎮 Oh No, Not Again! The Great VR Modder Meltdown of 2026 🎮 Hold onto your headsets, folks, because the…
“Helps women get pregnant” 😂
Imagine when Natalie Portman watches this years later! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as…
Carnival Friday 2026’s “Sunrise Breakfast” Is the Only Religious Experience You Need
Sunrise Breakfast Party returns to Trinidad for Carnival 2026! 🎭 Get your super early bird tickets and early bird cabanas…