March 8, 2026 | Page 2 of 2 | Jackal.Today satirical news site

Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kouri Richins’ Murder Trial: The Cliff Notes Version of a Trainwreck Divorce with a Side of Scandal and Debt!

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Democrats’ Latest Scandal: Liberal Mom Poisons Husband for Fentanyl-Fueled Affair In a shocking display of liberal depravity, a Utah mother…

Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Energy Secretary Chris Wright vows gas prices will plummet: ‘This is a weeks… not a months thing.’ — because who needs months when you’ve got magic?

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Energy Secretary Chris Wright Promises Quick Relief at the Pump as Trump’s America Takes Charge In a stunning display of…

Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Commentator finds WH videos comparing Iran war to games ‘kind of gross’—because apparently, war isn’t supposed to be entertaining or something.

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

OMG, the libs are freaking out again! This time they’re clutching their pearls over some totally harmless White House videos…

Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sen. Murphy throws a fit: “Unforgivable under any circumstances” because apparently, the US is always the bad guy

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Democrats Demand Answers as Iran School Attack Mystery Deepens When a school in Iran gets hit and hundreds of kids…