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Day: March 24, 2026

Robert Mueller Dead At 81
The Onion

Robert Mueller Dead At 81

FinnMarch 24, 2026

       Former FBI director Robert Mueller, who served as special counsel in the probe of President Trump and Russian interference…

Babylon Bee

Quadruple Amputee Cornhole Champion Claims It Was A Different Quadruple Amputee Cornhole Champion Who Shot That Guy

FinnMarch 24, 2026

    LA PLATA, MD — The alleged perpetrator of a violent crime publicly voiced his innocence in what he said…

Babylon Bee

DEAL ALERT: Save Big On A 20-Pound Weighted Vest By Just Gaining 20 Pounds

FinnMarch 24, 2026

    Looking to expand your personal gym, but low on cash? Instead of spending money on a 20-pound weighted vest,…

Babylon Bee

Man Finally Admits To Gambling Problem After Placing Bet On Women’s Basketball

FinnMarch 24, 2026

    ANN ARBOR, MI — Local sports fan Adam Cartwright was finally forced to admit to himself that he had…

Babylon Bee

Airport Wait Times Eliminated After TSA Checkpoints Taken Over By Chick-Fil-A

FinnMarch 24, 2026

    U.S. — Chick-fil-A employees began taking over TSA duties at the beginning of the week, and airline passengers noted…

Minecraft Dungeons 2: Now With 100% More Dungeons and 200% More Confusion at Minecraft Live 2026
Hold Onto Your Pickaxes, Folks! Minecraft Dungeons 2 Is Coming to Ruin Your Life (Again)
Breaking, Games News

Minecraft Dungeons 2: Now With 100% More Dungeons and 200% More Confusion at Minecraft Live 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Well, well, well, look who decided to crawl out from under their cobblestone bed and grace us with their presence.…

Xbox Partner Preview 2026: Stranger Than Heaven and Other Mystical BS Coming to Your Screen
Buckle Up, Gamers—The Xbox Circus Just Got a New Ringmaster
Breaking, Events, Games News

Xbox Partner Preview 2026: Stranger Than Heaven and Other Mystical BS Coming to Your Screen

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Oh, Xbox. Sweet, chaotic Xbox. You’ve had quite the year, haven’t you? First, Phil Spencer, the captain of the sinking…

Dwayne Johnson’s Live-Action Maui Makes His Grand Entrance in New ‘Moana’ Trailer—Brace Yourself for Rock-Solid Performances!
Breaking, Movie News

Dwayne Johnson’s Live-Action Maui Makes His Grand Entrance in New ‘Moana’ Trailer—Brace Yourself for Rock-Solid Performances!

FinnMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Oh great, another Disney “live-action” remake, because apparently the 2016 animated classic wasn’t *real* enough for us. Now we’re getting…

John Boyega: Back for More Galactic Shenanigans or Just Messing With Our Minds?
John Boyega Might Return to Star Wars… or Maybe He's Just Trolling Us All
Breaking, Movie News

John Boyega: Back for More Galactic Shenanigans or Just Messing With Our Minds?

FinnMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Oh look, it’s Finn’s triumphant return to the galaxy far, far away—or at least his phone call to Dave Filoni.…

DINO CAZARES Praises New FEAR FACTORY Singer MILO SILVESTRO for Mastering the Art of Surviving on Tour Without Losing His Sanity (Yet)
Breaking, Music News

DINO CAZARES Praises New FEAR FACTORY Singer MILO SILVESTRO for Mastering the Art of Surviving on Tour Without Losing His Sanity (Yet)

Chord F. DiscordMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

FEAR FACTORY has a new singer, and apparently he can actually remember the lyrics without his phone. Revolutionary, I know.…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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