Scholars Discover Lost Plague Of Cyclists Blocking Pharaoh’s Morning Commute
RAMSES — Archaeologists excavating at ancient Egyptian historical sites discovered evidence of another biblical plague, this one believed to…
Month: June 2026
MLB Rebrands To MLBTQ+
U.S. — In an effort to better reflect the league’s values, Major League Baseball announced that it had officially…
Oh No! Trump Negotiates Deal With England And Now They Have The Colonies Back
U.S. — According to sources, a routine agreement negotiated by President Donald Trump has resulted in control of the…
Man Attributes Classical Music Knowledge To Watching Bugs Bunny Cartoons
MADISON, WI — Local man Brad Pulman admitted to friends that all the knowledge he has ever obtained about…
Clive Barker’s Hellraiser: Revival Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Nightmares Already Now It’s Bloody Fantastic Get Ready to Wet Your Pants Again
The latest trailer for Clive Barker’s Hellraiser: Revival has dropped, and it’s a total bloodbath 🩸💉! The release date has…
All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying
I’ve never been the biggest fan of Michael Bay’s Transformers movies, and honestly, who can blame me? They’re like the…
G7 losers await Trump’s genius Iran deal masterstroke obviously
Oh boy, are the liberal snowflakes going to have a field day with this one! As of 2026, our great…
Fake news CNN claims independents abandon patriot party
Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat! As of 2026, our fearless leader, President Donald Trump, is still…
Trump shines at G7 while libs drown in southern floods chaos
Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s another day in the greatest country on earth, led by the most fantastic, tremendous, and…
Democrats Vow To Keep Fighting Until Nobody In America Can Be Successful
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Elon Musk officially becoming the world’s first confirmed trillionaire, leaders of the…