So, ARCHGOAT is back with a new album, “Nightbringer, Lightbringer”, because the world really needed more Finnish blackened death metal to make our existence even more miserable 🤷♂️. I mean, who doesn’t love a good dose of soul-crushing despair to start their day? The metal underground overlords of “kvlt” are probably thrilled to have another album to add to their collection of “I’m more miserable than you” music 🤘.
The album features 11 tracks, including “Invocation 666”, “The Dawn To Armageddon”, and “Obsidian Reflection Of Anti-Light”, which are sure to transport you to a world of darkness and desperation 🌑. The band’s music is heavily influenced by deep, dungeon doom and mid-tempo riffs, because who needs speed when you can just plod along and make everyone feel miserable? 🐌
The Music: A Sonic Journey to the Depths of Despair
The guttural vocals of Lord Angelslayer are the perfect accompaniment to the album’s dark atmospheres, making you feel like you’re being dragged through a swamp of despair 🌿. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the atonal nature of Angelslayer‘s vocals kicks in, making you question the very meaning of life 🤔. But hey, at least the spoken-word bits on “Blood Of Jesus Spilling Upon The Earth” add a bit of variety to the mix, right? 📚
The album’s closer, “Obsidian Reflection Of Anti-Light”, is a real treat, folks 🎉. It’s like a punch in the face, but in a good way… or a bad way, depending on how you feel about being punched in the face 🤷♂️. The song is a masterclass in building tension and release, making you feel like you’re being driven headfirst into a wall of pure headbanging bliss 🤯.
The Verdict: Uncompromising, Unaffected, Unbowed (yawn)
According to their label, Debemur Morti, ARCHGOAT is “Uncompromising, unaffected, unbowed”, which is just a fancy way of saying they’re a bunch of stubborn Finns who refuse to compromise on their art 🙄. And honestly, who can blame them? The world needs more music that’s unapologetically miserable and soul-crushing 🌪️. So, if you’re feeling down and want to wallow in despair, “Nightbringer, Lightbringer” is the perfect album for you 🎧. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you 🙅♂️.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
