“The Conjuring: Last Rites” has officially become the highest-grossing horror movie ever, raking in a jaw-dropping $194 million worldwide. The film managed to beat out Stephen King’s “It,” and the executives at Warner Bros. are popping champagne while counting their stacks of cash. But the celebration didn’t last long — because, according to multiple witnesses, the ghost of legendary film critic Roger Ebert 👻 has started showing up!
And let’s just say he’s not impressed: the ghost reportedly floats around movie sets, frowns a lot, and keeps flashing his signature thumbs-down gesture. For those too young to remember, that thumb used to be scarier than Rotten Tomatoes, since Ebert could bury a movie with one flick of his wrist.
At first, Warner Bros. thought it was just a viral prank from salty “It” fans — maybe some AR filter of Ebert haunting the marketing campaign. But nope, the haunting seems real: cameras mysteriously shut down, sound guys hear whispers of “trash, trash, trash,” and fans swear that Vera Farmiga’s face morphs into Ebert’s scowl on movie posters. Hardcore horror fans are thrilled — “Finally, a film scary enough to bring Ebert back from the dead!” Meanwhile, the director is less amused, especially after the ghost delivered a full lecture on “how to make a real thriller” before threatening to relocate to Netflix.
Social groups reacted in completely different ways. Millennial cinephiles, who worship Ebert through old YouTube clips (though most only saw TikTok edits), call this “a sign from above.” Gen Z, raised on Marvel and 20-second reels, had no clue who Ebert even was — many thought he was just the new DC villain. Old-school horror fans had the harshest take: “The scariest part of this movie isn’t the demon — it’s the price of popcorn.”
Highest-Grossing Horror Movie of 2025 Summons Legendary Critic From the Grave
And of course, the outrage brigade didn’t miss their chance. Feminists complained that Ebert’s ghost was showing “toxic masculinity” with his aggressive thumbs-down gesture. Allegedly, the ghost responded by showing two thumbs down and then drifting through a wall muttering “PC garbage.” Vegans protested that the movie was “too bloody” and that the critic should’ve haunted in a more “eco-friendly” way. But horror fans loved it — finally, a movie that delivers not only jump scares but also full-blown social meltdowns 🩸. Warner Bros. quickly realized they had the perfect promo tagline: “The film so bad, Ebert came back to trash it.”
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
