NEW YORK—Struggling to wrap his head around the horrific sight before him, a panicked Travis Kelce reportedly yelled, “Babe, you shrunk!” on Friday to the miniature bride figurine on top of the couple’s wedding cake. “Taylor, no, God, no—it’s going to be okay babe, just tell me who did this to you!” said the Kansas City Chiefs star, who crouched down to eye level to plead with the blonde, blue-eyed acrylic cake topper that was staring blankly back at him. “Wait, who the hell’s this guy? Are you leaving me for a miniature man, babe? Hold on. Huh. That’s me. Then wait, where am I?” At press time, Kelce was screaming, “No, babe, that’s your house!” as the real Swift appeared beside him and plunged a knife into the cake.
The post ‘Babe, You Shrunk!’ Says Panicked Travis Kelce To Mini Bride On Wedding Cake appeared first on The Onion.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.