WASHINGTON—Saying the convenience of the quick but nutritious entrees could not be beat, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. showed viewers of his new cooking show Friday how they could create easy weeknight meals using ingredients already in their own bodies. “You don’t have to have a full pantry or a stocked fridge when everything you need for a tasty dish is right there beneath your skin,” said Kennedy, searing his left kidney in a skillet as several of his elbow ligaments roasted in the oven. “I got everything I needed for this delicious dinner with just a few minutes of self-surgery, and that doesn’t even count the bowl of my intestines that I marinated in my own blood yesterday which will last me a week. And, speaking of food that lasts, what I like to do is prepare a protein in bulk, say my quadriceps, and alternate with different flavors such as bile from my gallbladder, urine, or spinal fluid. That way, meal prep is easy but never boring, and if I’m feeling ambitious, I can always throw a lung on the grill.” Kennedy went on to say, however, that sometimes even basic cooking was too exhausting, and on those nights, it was perfectly fine to just stick your hand in the air fryer and eat it right off your arm.
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Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
