Category: The Onion

       LONDON—Insisting that digital platforms should be restricted to responsible individuals, members of the U.K. Parliament announced Friday they were…

       PENSACOLA, FL—Sensing the perfect opportunity to duck out and get a head start on some scrubbing, local mom Sandy…

       NEW YORK—Telling everyone to count down as she turned to her colleague, actress Lea Michele reportedly showed off her…

       JD Vance has commissioned a custom chicken coop to be installed at the official Vice Presidential residence at the…

       ÉVIAN-LES-BAINS, FRANCE—Claiming their failure to help America would now leave the nations incredibly vulnerable to the danger of shotgun…

       The post New York City Mayor Presents Knicks With Key To His Car appeared first on The Onion.    The…

       The post OG Anunoby Sends Parade Crowd Into Frenzy With Celebratory Nod appeared first on The Onion.    The post…

       The post Millions Of New Yorkers Show Up To Celebrate Plucky Underdog James Dolan appeared first on The Onion.…

       ST. LOUIS—Immediately ruining decades of graceful maneuvering to avoid discussion of the specific details of her upbringing, area woman…

       WASHINGTON—Patting themselves on the back for seeing a film that was neither a sequel nor a prequel, the U.S.…