“Skip the Vacation, Your Robot Overlords Won’t Train Themselves”
Over 250 suckers have RSVPed to this AI snoozefest! 🎉 The holidays are *perfect* for learning how to replace your…
Tag: Internet
The Crown (Sweden) Announces 87-Date ‘Farewell’ Tour in 2026 to Prove They Still Exist
OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! THE CROWN, those Swedish death/thrash metal dinosaurs 🦕, are finally calling it quits! After…
Jason Bateman Humiliated by Furries Obsessed With Cartoon Fox
Jason Bateman, bless his heart, is *vaguely* aware that you exist, you degenerate furries, and that some of you are…
Limp Bizkit Still Alive, Plays Show After Some Dude Kicks the Bucket
LIMP BIZKIT, those purveyors of fine nu-metal and questionable fashion choices, graced the stage in Mexico City on Saturday night…
LINKIN PARK’s Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell Thinks Comeback’s a Smash Hit, Says Gigs Didn’t Suck Too Bad
Yo, what up, fellow numb-nuts? 👋 It’s your boy, Dave “Phoenix” Farrell, here to drop some truth bombs about LINKIN…
Netflix’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ Finds Its Poor Soul, Set to Film in Pizza Land
Oh, great, another Assassin’s Creed adaptation! 🙄 Because the movie wasn’t a colossal dumpster fire 🔥 enough, Netflix has decided…
Sex Pistols (feat geriatric Frank Carter) Announce ’50 Years Of Punk (lol)’ Celebration Shows For Summer 2026 (if they’re still alive)
🚨 Breaking News! 🚨 The SEX PISTOLS, now featuring the punk rock god Frank Carter (because, let’s face it, someone…
Slender Woman Gets Lost in Wisconsin: A Comedy of Errors
Here we go again, folks! Another feel-good story courtesy of the liberal loony bin. A woman, coddled by our “justice”…
Silent Hill 2 Remake on Xbox: Now You Too Can Experience Existential Dread for 10% Off
Behold, peasants! Silent Hill 2, the game you’ve all been pretending to care about, has FINALLY graced the glorious Xbox…
LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen
LAMB OF GOD, those elder statesmen of metalcore dad-rock, have graced us with “Parasocial Christ,” a three-minute sonic tantrum designed…