Male Passenger Disappointed After Another Flight Ends Without A Stewardess Frantically Asking If Anyone Can Land The Plane
LOS ANGELES, CA — At the end of a transcontinental trip, a male passenger was reportedly disappointed that yet another…
Day: November 21, 2024
Post-Menopausal Lesbians Flee America Over Concerns About Forced Pregnancies
LONDON — A pair of post-menopausal lesbians announced they had fled the United States over concerns about forced pregnancies. Ellen…
Trump Boys Get Weird Feeling After Uncle Elon Shows Them Busty Anime Cat Girl
Read MoreThe OnionPALM BEACH, FL—Blushing, short of breath, and unable to look away from the image, the Trump boys told…
Every Movement In Man’s Burrito-Eating Technique Informed By Past Burrito Tragedies
Read MoreThe OnionGLENDALE, CA—Rotating the tortilla-wrapped meal to consume the Mexican food in even levels, eyewitnesses reported Thursday that every…
Joe Biden Given Human Food As Birthday Treat
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—After bending the rules with a celebratory serving in honor of his special day, White House officials confirmed…
NASA: Potential Link Between Extraterrestrials, Giant Metal Claw Picking Up Earth
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Urging the public to remain skeptical until the object could be studied further, NASA officials confirmed during a…