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Day: May 13, 2025

Events

Oh Noes! The Economy’s Gonna Die: A Guide to Hoarding Toilet Paper and Crying Into Your Savings

Chuck B. BallsyMay 13, 2025

OMG, another “expert” 🙄! Ashley Feinstein Gerstley, CFP® (because acronyms = smart), wrote “Financial Adulting” 🤣 and “The 30-Day Money…

Events

BET Awards 2025: Still Trying to Snag a Ticket, Huh

Chuck B. BallsyMay 13, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 BET Experience: Buju Banton (who?) kicks things off WED, June 5 at the Hollywood Palladium. Roots Picnic (still…

NYC’s 2025 Small Business Expo: Come Watch Your Dreams Die Slowly
Events

NYC’s 2025 Small Business Expo: Come Watch Your Dreams Die Slowly

Chuck B. BallsyMay 13, 2025

The NYC Department of Small Business Services (SBS) is hosting the NYC Small Business Month Expo! Get “free” info (lol),…

NYPL’s FREE Job Fair 2025: Come Get Slightly Less Unemployed!
Events

NYPL’s FREE Job Fair 2025: Come Get Slightly Less Unemployed!

Chuck B. BallsyMay 13, 2025

**NYPL is hosting a Job Fair & Expo 2025! 🤣 Get FREE tickets on April 17 and “connect” with employers…

Miami Worldcenter’s “Grand” Opening: Free Tapas and Maybe a Parking Spot
Events

Miami Worldcenter’s “Grand” Opening: Free Tapas and Maybe a Parking Spot

Chuck B. BallsyMay 13, 2025

OMG! Miami Worldcenter’s grand opening is on May 22nd! 🤩 RSVP? LOL, good luck with that! It’s at NE 10th…

“Who Even Is Janet Jackson?” — Internet in Shock Over AMA Icon Award
American Music Awards 2025: Janet Jackson’s Back… But Does Gen Z Care?
Music News

“Who Even Is Janet Jackson?” — Internet in Shock Over AMA Icon Award

FinnMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

When the news broke that Janet Jackson — yeah, that Janet Jackson, the one you only vaguely remember from some…

Gal Gadot and Some Other Dude to Ruin ‘Ruin’
Breaking

Gal Gadot and Some Other Dude to Ruin ‘Ruin’

FinnMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

Oh, joy! Another Gal Gadot movie! Because the world CLEARLY needs more of… that. 🙄 And this time, she’s gracing…

CBGB FESTIVAL 2025: We Dug Up Some Legends (Literally, Maybe)
Breaking

CBGB FESTIVAL 2025: We Dug Up Some Legends (Literally, Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

OMG! 😱 They’re resurrecting CBGB (again?) with the CBGB Festival, brought to you by the oh-so-punk corporate overlords at The…

Baby Saves Affair
The Onion

Baby Saves Affair

FinnMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionSANTA CLARA, CA—Following a long rough patch that had led them to consider ending their adulterous relationship, local…

OMG, Remember These ‘Singers’? (AKA The 2000s, A Dark Time for Music)
Breaking

OMG, Remember These ‘Singers’? (AKA The 2000s, A Dark Time for Music)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

The 2000s? Oh honey, that was a *time*. A time of questionable fashion choices, even more questionable hairstyles, and music…

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