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Month: May 2025

NBA Combine Tests How Well Prospects DM Models On Instagram
The Onion

NBA Combine Tests How Well Prospects DM Models On Instagram

FinnMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionCHICAGO—Evaluating whether top college talent like Ace Bailey, Dylan Harper, and Kasparas Jakučionis can actually clean up on…

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Back — Not Just in Movies, But in Politics: «Kung Fury II» as the Secret 2028 Campaign Kickoff
From «Kung Fury» to the White House: 80s Witchcraft Meets Arnold’s Epic Political Troll
Movie News

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Back — Not Just in Movies, But in Politics: «Kung Fury II» as the Secret 2028 Campaign Kickoff

FinnMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

The internet just exploded with a bombshell for movie buffs, political junkies, and conspiracy theorists alike — a 10-minute teaser…

Harley Flanagan and the missus yammer ’bout rabbit food and a movie nobody asked for 🥕🎬🙄
Breaking

Harley Flanagan and the missus yammer ’bout rabbit food and a movie nobody asked for 🥕🎬🙄

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Oh, sweet lord, another washed-up hardcore dude trying to stay relevant. 🙄 Harley Flanagan, the human embodiment of a mid-life…

“Friendship”: A Cinematic Masterpiece (of Mediocrity) That Will Make You Question All Your Life Choices (Especially Watching This)
Breaking

“Friendship”: A Cinematic Masterpiece (of Mediocrity) That Will Make You Question All Your Life Choices (Especially Watching This)

FinnMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Okay, folks, buckle up, because ‘Friendship’ is getting a WHOPPING 8.5 out of 10 stars! 🌟 Yeah, you heard that…

Lemmy’s Ghost Haunts Stoke-on-Trent: Bronze Abomination Erected
Breaking

Lemmy’s Ghost Haunts Stoke-on-Trent: Bronze Abomination Erected

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

On Friday, May 9, 2025, Lemmy Kilmister, the dude who made a career out of singing about speed and playing…

Gene Simmons Swears KISS Won’t Tour Again (Unless the Price is Right, LOL)
Breaking

Gene Simmons Swears KISS Won’t Tour Again (Unless the Price is Right, LOL)

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

In a recent chat with some dude named Kyle Meredith (who?), Gene Simmons, the self-proclaimed God of Thunder (more like…

Prepare to Have Your Wallet Violently Assaulted by Shiny New Things!
Breaking

Prepare to Have Your Wallet Violently Assaulted by Shiny New Things!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 11, 2025May 11, 2025

Rick Lane, our resident purveyor of vaguely positive opinions, has emerged from his caffeine-fueled slumber to grace us with news…

Wes Scantlin Promises New Album Will Make You Cry (Probably From Laughter)
Breaking

Wes Scantlin Promises New Album Will Make You Cry (Probably From Laughter)

Chord F. DiscordMay 11, 2025May 11, 2025

In a new interview with Mark Strigl, PUDDLE OF MUDD frontman Wes Scantlin, the only guy keeping the “Mud” afloat…

Death Stranding 2: The Game You’ll NEVER Finish! 75 Years of Gaming Await!
Death Stranding 2: A Plot for Centuries, Gamers Shocked by Its Endless Grind!
Games News

Death Stranding 2: The Game You’ll NEVER Finish! 75 Years of Gaming Await!

FinnMay 11, 2025May 11, 2025

If you thought your life was just an endless loop of monotony, Hideo Kojima has decided to stretch that loop…

Genshin Impact thinks we’re all toddlers raiding mommy’s credit card now, slapping on age verification like it’ll stop us from pulling for that sweet, sweet Ganyu 💳👶😂
Breaking

Genshin Impact thinks we’re all toddlers raiding mommy’s credit card now, slapping on age verification like it’ll stop us from pulling for that sweet, sweet Ganyu 💳👶😂

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 11, 2025May 11, 2025

OMG! 🚨 The Man is trying to keep us down, fellow Genshin Impact addicts! Apparently, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC),…

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Latest posts

  • GenAI is Coming to Ruin Your Compliance Program and Make You Attend More Meetings for FREE CEU’s
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Rave of Your Life Because The Chosen Few Djs are Taking Over Navy Pier and Its Actually Free
  • Nicole Lehmann ist offensichtlich total besessen von KI
  • Megan Follows Totally Not an Impersonator Speaking at LM Montgomery Institute on June 27 2026
  • WARRANT’s ERIK TURNER Totally Not Embarrassed That ‘Cherry Pie’ Is Now Associated with Horny College Kids Instead of Just Horny Old People

Editorial
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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2025
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