Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Month: May 2025

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome
Breaking

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

So, Dave Mustaine, bless his pointy-guitar-loving heart, did another interview. This time, with some ex-Navy SEAL/CIA dude, because, you know,…

Obituary at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/23/2025)
Videos

Obituary at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/23/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 28, 2025

Death Metal from Gibsonton, Florida!

Benediction at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/23/2025)
Videos

Benediction at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/23/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 28, 2025

Death Metal from Birmingham, England!

Asphyx at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/23/2025)
Videos

Asphyx at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/23/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 28, 2025

Death/Doom Metal from Netherlands!

MINISTRY Drops New Single ‘I’ll Do Anything For You’ – Are They Finally Covering a Bryan Adams Classic? (Spoiler: No)
Breaking

MINISTRY Drops New Single ‘I’ll Do Anything For You’ – Are They Finally Covering a Bryan Adams Classic? (Spoiler: No)

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Al Jourgensen rocking heart-shaped sunglasses, pigtails, and a shirt proclaiming “I’m Adorable”? 🤣 Yeah, you didn’t misread that. Apparently, someone…

Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s
Breaking

Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! METALLICA, yes, THOSE guys, have actually managed to sell some records! 💿💿 Apparently, two…

Online Gaming: A Playground for Future Felons
Breaking

Online Gaming: A Playground for Future Felons

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Alright gamers, gather ’round because we’re about to dive headfirst into the totally not-scary world of online gaming for kids!…

Pokémon Legends: Z-A Release Date: Prepare for Disappointment and More Useless Pokémon Presents
Breaking

Pokémon Legends: Z-A Release Date: Prepare for Disappointment and More Useless Pokémon Presents

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Oh, honey, The Pokémon Company International, bless their hearts 🙄, has FINALLY decided to grace us with the release date…

DOOGEE Phones: From Brick to Chic (But Still a Brick)
Breaking

DOOGEE Phones: From Brick to Chic (But Still a Brick)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Okay, so apparently, at GITEX Europe 2025, DOOGEE – yes, DOOGEE – decided to grace us with their presence, showcasing…

‘Our Movie’ K-Drama Drops First Teaser, Prepare to Cringe
Breaking

‘Our Movie’ K-Drama Drops First Teaser, Prepare to Cringe

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

OMG 😱 Disney+ is about to drop another K-drama bomb 💣 next month! Get ready for *Our Movie*, starring Namkoong…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 8 9 10 … 61 Next

Latest posts

  • ‘Time To Become Immortal,’ Announces RFK Jr., Exposing Perineum Atop Solar Tower
  • Sam Neill Dead at 78 Iconic Jurassic Park Star Passes Away
  • Vets Face Firing Squad in Tone-Deaf Cartoon Chaos
  • Fresh Faces Head to Congress to Explain All the Chaos They Made
  • Graham and Trump Bizarrely Become Best Buds Somehow

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2025
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Apr   Jun »
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}