Oh, CNN, always with the drama! “Diplomacy” with Iran? Please! It’s like trying to reason with a rabid raccoon. They want nukes to wipe Israel off the map, and these leftists want to hold hands and sing Kumbaya. Give me a break!
So, according to this “expert,” Brett McGurk (who, by the way, has served under EVERY president since Bush—talk about a swamp creature!), we’re on Day 10 of the Israel-Iran kerfuffle. Apparently, Israel is just waltzing through Iranian airspace, smacking targets like it’s a game of whack-a-mole. But don’t worry, Iran can still lob a few missiles. It’s all very “steady,” you see.
Here are the scenarios:
1. “Diplomatic Settlement”: LOL! The Europeans are flapping their gums in Geneva, the US isn’t even in the room, and Iran is sticking to its guns (literally). McGurk says all Iran needs to do is agree to Trump’s envoy’s proposal. Yeah, and I’m waiting for pigs to fly.
2. “US Enters Militarily to Destroy Fordow”: Now we’re talking! Trump is flexing his military muscles, parking three Carrier Strike Groups in the area. It’s like a giant middle finger to the Ayatollahs. McGurk thinks this might scare Iran into a deal. I hope it scares them into the Stone Age!
3. “Israel Finds a Way to Dismantle Fordow”: Netanyahu might pull an “Operation Many Ways” and ninja-kick Fordow into oblivion. McGurk doubts it’s feasible. I say, never underestimate Bibi!
4. “The Crisis Simply Goes On”: Israel keeps swatting Iran, Iran keeps sputtering, and diplomacy continues to be a joke.
McGurk thinks we’re headed for option 2 or 4. I’m praying for option 2, followed by a hearty “Mission Accomplished” tweet from Trump!
And here’s the kicker: McGurk suggests linking the Iran crisis to Gaza! A 60-day ceasefire in Gaza for a 60-day freeze on Iranian nukes? It’s like bartering with terrorists! Give Hamas some breathing room? Are you kidding me?
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
