So, apparently, some dude named John Bush, who sang for ANTHRAX (lol, remember them?) and ARMORED SAINT (who?), was almost in METALLICA back in the stone age. 🙄 He told Get On The Bus (never heard of it) that Jonny Z (who even remembers Megaforce Records?) wanted him to join. Like, who cares? Does anyone actually think about this?
Bushy boy said it was an “honor” to be asked to sing in METALLICA. Yeah, sure, an honor to almost be in the biggest metal band ever, but instead, he chose ARMORED SAINT. Smart move, buddy. 🤣 He saw James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich (bless his tiny drum-kit-buying heart), and Robert Trujillo at some Sonic Temple festival (sounds thrilling). They even watched ARMORED SAINT! At 3 PM! Wow, so impressed. I bet they were just trying not to fall asleep.😴 He thinks they “still think highly of us.” Delusional much? Maybe they just felt bad for him. 😂
He said it “wasn’t his fate” to be in METALLICA. Fate? Dude, you made a bad decision! Own it! He did sing “The Four Horsemen” with them at their 30th-anniversary shows. Awww, how cute. They even told the story about how he almost joined. “This is what it would sound like if he did join.” Translation: “Here’s what could have been a disaster.” 🤣 You can see it on YouTube, he says. Yeah, no thanks. I’d rather watch paint dry. 🎨
Apparently, ARMORED SAINT toured with METALLICA on the “Ride The Lightning” tour. Oh, the memories… of no one caring about ARMORED SAINT. 🤷♂️ James even said in front of 50,000 people that they “destroyed a lot of hotels together.” Vandalism buddies! 🤘 Bush thinks he “could have ruined metal.” Oh, honey, you already did by not joining METALLICA. 😂
He keeps saying it “wasn’t his fate.” Dude, it was your choice! And he can’t imagine anyone else singing those songs. Well, duh! James Hetfield is a legend. Bush admits James became an “incredible singer.” Yeah, after years of practice and screaming his lungs out. Maybe if Bush had joined, METALLICA would have been a polka band. 🪗
In another interview, Bush was asked about METALLICA’s recent music. He said they “never rest on their laurels.” More like they keep trying to reinvent the wheel and failing. 🤣 He praised their “orchestra stuff” and the Lou Reed album. Oh god, don’t remind us. 🤦♂️ He saw them at SoFi Stadium and thought it was “phenomenal.” Sure, if you’re into that kind of thing. I prefer watching cats play the piano. 🐈🎹
He says everyone’s expectations are “so grand all the time.” Yeah, because they’re METALLICA! And they don’t always hit the bullseye. True, sometimes they miss the target completely and hit the clown next door. 🤡 He commends them for taking chances. Like that time they cut their hair? Groundbreaking. 💇♂️
He heard “Lux Æterna” and thought it “sounded rad.” Rad? Is he stuck in the ’80s? It sounded like a rehash of their old stuff. ♻️ He says James is “one heck of a singer.” Okay, Boomer. What else is new? He ends with “They’re METALLICA.” Yeah, we know. Thanks for stating the obvious. 🙄
He’s been talking about this for years. He’s “super flattered” that he was asked to join. If I had a nickel for every time he said that… It “wasn’t his destiny.” We get it! James was meant to be the singer. Blah, blah, blah. It’s a “huge feather in his cap.” More like a tiny piece of lint. 🤏 He had a “different fate in store.” Like singing in obscurity? 😂
He also talked about joining METALLICA on stage in 2011. It was an “awesome experience.” They had all these “various guests.” Ozzy, King Diamond, Lou Reed… a real who’s who of weirdos. 🤪 ARMORED SAINT opened for them. How generous. He sang “The Four Horsemen.” An “incredible experience.” He’s “really flattered” that METALLICA thought he was “good enough to be in their band.” We get it, dude! Move on! 🚶♂️
Another singer considered was Jess Cox of TYGERS OF PAN TANG. Never heard of him either. 🤷♀️
Bush later said he said no for “all the right reasons.” Like what? He thought ARMORED SAINT was “hot?” LOL. METALLICA was “nobody.” Famous last words. ARMORED SAINT was getting “interest from all kinds of places.” Yeah, maybe from their moms. 👩👦
METALLICA came to see ARMORED SAINT in 1982. He heard they were interested in asking him to join. METALLICA was “this new kind of thing.” And ARMORED SAINT was… what? The same old boring thing? 😴 He didn’t know the guys, so there was “no real interest.” So, he’s admitting he’s not a visionary? 😂 It was “great to be asked.” Again with the flattering! ARMORED SAINT was “really strong.” Strong like week-old coffee. ☕
After “Kill ‘Em All” came out, he heard the same thing again. But James was “singing great then.” So, he admits he missed his chance? 🤦♂️ He understood the lack of confidence back in ’82 but not for “Ride The Lightning.” James “owns that record.” Yeah, because he sang on it! 🎤
Lars talked about what METALLICA could have sounded like with Bush. He can’t imagine METALLICA without James. “Thank God it didn’t happen.” Even Lars knows it would have been a disaster! 🔥
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
