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Month: August 2025

Jessica Chastain’s Back: Prepare for Peak Thrills (and Maybe Some Overacting)
Breaking, Movie News

Jessica Chastain’s Back: Prepare for Peak Thrills (and Maybe Some Overacting)

FinnAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

Hold onto your hats, folks, because Apple TV+ just dropped the trailer for The Savant! 🎉 Starring none other than…

Cradle of Filth Minus One Dude: Still Filthy, Still Filthy-ing
Breaking, Music News

Cradle of Filth Minus One Dude: Still Filthy, Still Filthy-ing

Chord F. DiscordAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

CRADLE OF FILTH, those purveyors of symphonic black metal (or whatever Dani Filth is calling it these days), graced Montevideo,…

Brit Floyd in Charlotte, NC (08/26/2025)
Videos

Brit Floyd in Charlotte, NC (08/26/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 27, 2025

Pink Floyd tribute band from Liverpool Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Jared Leto in TRON: Ares Looks Like a Cheap AliExpress Chatbot
“Leto” or a Buggy AI Avatar? Disney Angers TRON Fans
Movie News

Jared Leto in TRON: Ares Looks Like a Cheap AliExpress Chatbot

FinnAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Fans of the legendary sci-fi franchise TRON are smashing their keyboards and flooding comment sections with sarcastic memes after watching…

16-Year-Old Gets Terrible Advice From ChatGPT, Parents Throw Tantrum and Sue OpenAI
Elephant Reads CNN

16-Year-Old Gets Terrible Advice From ChatGPT, Parents Throw Tantrum and Sue OpenAI

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the Left is at it again! Now they’re blaming Artificial Intelligence for teen suicides. Can you believe it? It’s…

CNN Thinks You’re Dumb Enough to Believe Trump’s a Dictator, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks You’re Dumb Enough to Believe Trump’s a Dictator, LOL

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, peddling their usual anti-Trump propaganda. Seems like they’re clutching their pearls because…

OMG! K-Pop Demon Hunters Beat Literally Every Other Movie Ever Made, Bow Down Netflix Peasants
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! K-Pop Demon Hunters Beat Literally Every Other Movie Ever Made, Bow Down Netflix Peasants

FinnAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Honestly, who even CARES anymore? KPop Demon Hunters is apparently the most-watched Netflix movie EVER. Like, ever ever. 🙄 With…

Chicago’s Comedy: Best or Just Most Tolerable
Events

Chicago’s Comedy: Best or Just Most Tolerable

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 26, 2025

2-Item Minimum 🙄, ID Please 👮, first come, first served 🪑, no outside food 🚫🍔! Chicago’s funniest at The Comedy…

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”
Breaking, Music News

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

So, apparently, according to PipemanRadio at the totally important Bloodstock Open Air festival (never heard of it), STATIC-X bassist Tony…

KISS Invades ‘World of Tanks’ With Enough Makeup to Trigger a Metal Detector
Breaking, Games News

KISS Invades ‘World of Tanks’ With Enough Makeup to Trigger a Metal Detector

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Metal Fest, the festival that somehow hasn’t been canceled yet, is back in World Of Tanks Modern Armor, and this…

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Latest posts

  • ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It
  • SBC Approves Use Of Tasers On Any Visitor Who Tries To Slip Past Greeters
  • When your parents ask what kind of music you listen to
  • Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids
  • Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity 

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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