Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Day: August 12, 2025

State Department’s ‘Human Rights’ Report: Sugarcoating Atrocities for Our Besties
Elephant Reads CNN

State Department’s ‘Human Rights’ Report: Sugarcoating Atrocities for Our Besties

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our Glorious President Trump! This time, they’re whining about…

ANTHRAX: Still Alive? Book Your Geriatric Metal Cruise Cabin Now!
Breaking, Live, Music News

ANTHRAX: Still Alive? Book Your Geriatric Metal Cruise Cabin Now!

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Ahoy, shipmates! Get ready to drain your bank accounts 💸 because 70000 Tons Of Metal, the only metal cruise that…

CNN: Trump’s DC Takeover—McCabe Calls It a ‘Splashy’ Act (Is Anyone Really Surprised?)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s DC Takeover—McCabe Calls It a ‘Splashy’ Act (Is Anyone Really Surprised?)

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Oh, CNN, always good for a laugh! Here we have Deep State’s own Andrew McCabe whining about President Trump’s “takeover”…

Magic: The Gathering and Avatar: The Last Airbender Crossover: Prepare for Disappointment!
Breaking, Games News

Magic: The Gathering and Avatar: The Last Airbender Crossover: Prepare for Disappointment!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Oh, honey, hold onto your hats because Wizards of the Coast is at it again! 🙄 Fresh off the heels…

Ryan Reynolds Drops Avengers Bomb, Internet Goes Full-On Deadpool Psycho
Breaking, Movie News

Ryan Reynolds Drops Avengers Bomb, Internet Goes Full-On Deadpool Psycho

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

OMG! 😱 You guys are STILL talking about Deadpool joining the Avengers? Seriously? 🙄 Hasn’t Marvel milked that cow dry…

BREAKING: Old Book About Some Band With a Blimp On It To Arrive In September, Who Cares
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING: Old Book About Some Band With a Blimp On It To Arrive In September, Who Cares

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Lansdowne Books, those purveyors of fine literature (and by “fine” we mean “overpriced”), have pre-launched (yes, PRE-launched, like it’s going…

Helldivers 2 Prepares to Steal Halo 3: ODST’s Underwear, CEO Warns of Impending Pant-Soiling Crisis
Breaking, Games News

Helldivers 2 Prepares to Steal Halo 3: ODST’s Underwear, CEO Warns of Impending Pant-Soiling Crisis

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

OMG! Helldivers 2, the game PC and PS5 players have been gatekeeping for months, is finally slumming it on Xbox!…

Texas Guv to Call Redistricting Redo: Yawn
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Guv to Call Redistricting Redo: Yawn

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the radical Democrats to undermine our great President Trump and his America First agenda!…

Sherrod Brown, bless his heart, thinks he can win Ohio in 2026, LOL | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Sherrod Brown, bless his heart, thinks he can win Ohio in 2026, LOL | CNN Politics

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Sherrod Brown, the poster boy for Ohio liberalism, thinks he can win back his Senate…

Uncategorized

Jerome Powell Says He Won’t Lower Interest Rates Until He Can Be Sure It Won’t Help Trump

FinnAugust 12, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell confirmed Tuesday he will not lower interest rates until he can be…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 4 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on unspecified date
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on given date
  • Trump Wins Right To Make Voting Slightly More Annoying
  • Taylor Swift Shares Songwriting Secrets and Performs Exclusive Medley
  • Wealthy Foreigners Rejoice Over New H-1B Visa Price Tag

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2025
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Jul   Sep »
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.