JD Vance’s Profound Prayer Ponderings: A CNN Masterclass in Nuance (or Not)
Ah, the Lefties are at it again, folks! They’re whining about “thoughts and prayers” after a school shooting, claiming it’s…
Day: August 28, 2025
Wild and Scenic Film Festival: More Like Mild and Pathetic Film Festival, Am I Right
OMG! 🙄 Kentucky Conservation Committee presents: “Wild & Scenic Festival” at the Farish Theater at Central Library! 🤣 Ten short…
RFK Jr. Vows To Make Sure Chemtrails No Longer Contain Seed Oils
U.S. — Health Secretary RFK Jr promised to make Americans healthier by ordering a thorough review of airline chemtrails to…
Cradle of Filth Is Hiring New Slaves: Thousands of Musicians Ready to Suffer Abuse for a UK Visa
The great and terrible British symphonic black metal machine, Cradle of Filth, is once again in the spotlight. But this…
Denny’s Announces Free Pancakes For Customers Who Take Fight Outside
Read MoreThe OnionSPARTANBURG, SC—Introducing a new promotion that will be available to both adults and children at its restaurants nationwide,…
5 Things You Should Pretend to Care About Today (Because CNN Told You To)
Folks, let’s cut the crap. The liberal media is peddling their usual garbage, but fear not, because President Trump is…
MUDVAYNE Drops ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ After Century-Long Hiatus, Proving They Still Know How To Spell ‘Edgy’
Well, well, well, look who crawled out of whatever primordial ooze they were marinating in – it’s MUDVAYNE! 🤡 They’ve…
Ice Nine Kills Announces ‘Silver Scream Con London’ – Prepare for Ear Piercings and Bank Account Bleeding
🤡 So, after gracing the U.S. with their oh-so-successful four years of… something… ICE NINE KILLS is unleashing Silver Scream…
Marvel Multiverse: So Easy, Even Your Grandma Can Understand It (Spoiler: She Won’t)
Hey, Marvel Zombies! 🧟♂️ Prepare to have your tiny minds blown! 🤯 Everything you *thought* you knew about the sacred…
Miss May I? More Like Miss May Cry: New Single ‘Pray For Silence’ Is Out Now (Prepare to Yawn)
MISS MAY I, those stalwarts of Ohio metalcore that you *totally* remember from 2010, are STILL churning out “music.” Yes,…