Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Day: August 2, 2025

Pelosi Vehemently Denies Insider Trading, Says Her Husband Takes Care Of All That
Babylon Bee

Pelosi Vehemently Denies Insider Trading, Says Her Husband Takes Care Of All That

FinnAugust 2, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a heated exchange with CNN’s Jake Tapper, Representative Nancy Pelosi adamantly denied engaging in insider trading,…

Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway Reports a Hilarious 4% Earnings Drop, Is This the End of Capitalism
Elephant Reads CNN

Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway Reports a Hilarious 4% Earnings Drop, Is This the End of Capitalism

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, the horror! Even Warren Buffett can’t escape the Trump boom! The liberal media, CNN, tries to spin Berkshire Hathaway’s…

Big Pharma Spends Scrooge McDuck Money on U.S. Factories, Still Can’t Magically Undo Trump’s Tariff Tantrums
Elephant Reads CNN

Big Pharma Spends Scrooge McDuck Money on U.S. Factories, Still Can’t Magically Undo Trump’s Tariff Tantrums

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

The liberal media is at it again, trying to downplay President Trump’s HUGE win for American manufacturing! CNN is reporting…

Staten Island Ferry Hawks Celebrate Hispanic Heritage (Because They Have To)
Events

Staten Island Ferry Hawks Celebrate Hispanic Heritage (Because They Have To)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 2, 2025

OMG! 😱 Created for You Artists Market, Staten Island Puerto Rican Alliance, and Danny Doco Entertainment are throwing a HUGE…

Scott Stapp’s New Masterpiece: ‘Deadman’s Trigger’ Featuring His Budding Child Actor
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

Scott Stapp’s New Masterpiece: ‘Deadman’s Trigger’ Featuring His Budding Child Actor

Chord F. DiscordAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Grammy-winning artiste, solo sensation, and, let’s be real, the main reason CREED existed, Scott Stapp, has unleashed “Deadman’s Trigger: A…

Itch.io Backtracks Like a Drunk Snail, Unhides the Naughty Bits (But Still Keeps Your Wallet Safe)
Breaking, Games News

Itch.io Backtracks Like a Drunk Snail, Unhides the Naughty Bits (But Still Keeps Your Wallet Safe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, the drama! 🍿 Our beloved indie game haven, Itch.io, decided to play hide-and-seek with the naughty bits last week,…

Batman Returns (and promptly leaves because who wants to see that again)
Breaking, Movie News

Batman Returns (and promptly leaves because who wants to see that again)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, great, more Batman 🦇. As if we needed another reason to relive the glory days of the late ’80s…

OMG, Did Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans Just Break the Internet or Did the Internet Break First
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG, Did Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans Just Break the Internet or Did the Internet Break First

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Another day, another “controversy” manufactured by the liberal media! Apparently, Sydney Sweeney, a beautiful and successful actress, dared to model…

The Fantastic Flop: Deleted Scenes and Cameos They Prayed You’d Never See
Breaking, Movie News

The Fantastic Flop: Deleted Scenes and Cameos They Prayed You’d Never See

FinnAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

😂 Oh, sweet summer child, you think you’re getting a serious article? Think again! The Fantastic Four: First Steps, or…

Papa Roach Drops ‘Braindead’ Track with H2O’s Toby Morse, Proving They Still Know How to Make Us Facepalm
Breaking, Music News

Papa Roach Drops ‘Braindead’ Track with H2O’s Toby Morse, Proving They Still Know How to Make Us Facepalm

Chord F. DiscordAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Behold, the titans of nu-metal PAPA ROACH, who, after years of relentlessly assaulting our ears with their unique brand of…

Posts pagination

1 2 Next

Latest posts

  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool
  • Steam Machine Pricing and Reservations Are Finally Here Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Overpriced PC Hardware Already
  • Get Ready for Some Pretentious Discussions About Magnifica Humanitas That Will Change Your Life Forever Possibly Maybe
  • ResBaz Because Adulting with Your Research Data is Hard

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2025
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Jul   Sep »
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}