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Month: August 2025

OOPS! Trump’s Goons Accidentally Reveal Their Evil Plan (Again!)
Elephant Reads CNN

OOPS! Trump’s Goons Accidentally Reveal Their Evil Plan (Again!)

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

The liberal CNN is at it again, folks! They’re whining about President Trump supposedly going after his “foes.” As if…

Trump’s Chicago Troop Surge: Fighting Crime or Just Being a Drama Queen
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Chicago Troop Surge: Fighting Crime or Just Being a Drama Queen

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

Oh, CNN is clutching their pearls again because our glorious President Trump is going to clean up Chicago? Cry me…

Trucker, probably an alien, denied bail, Trump probably high-fives
Elephant Reads CNN

Trucker, probably an alien, denied bail, Trump probably high-fives

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

Another day, another tragedy made possible by the radical Left’s open border policies! A truck driver from India, Harjinder Singh,…

“Adios, Amigos! CNN Reports on How Immigration Crackdowns Are Turning the US into a Ghost Town (Maybe)”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Adios, Amigos! CNN Reports on How Immigration Crackdowns Are Turning the US into a Ghost Town (Maybe)”

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, folks, painting a grim picture of America under our glorious President Trump!…

911: Still a Joke After All These Years, Apparently | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

911: Still a Joke After All These Years, Apparently | CNN

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN, this time about a 911 dispatch error in the swamp they call Washington,…

Billy Sheehan Survives Near-Extinction Event (aka Grunge) With Mr Big in the Pathetic 90s
Breaking, Music News

Billy Sheehan Survives Near-Extinction Event (aka Grunge) With Mr Big in the Pathetic 90s

Chord F. DiscordAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

In a recent earth-shattering interview with Nashville On The Rocks, MR. BIG bassist and self-proclaimed genius, Billy Sheehan, graced us…

WWII Dudes vs Fishy Boi: The Trailer for Maximum Hilarity
Breaking, Movie News

WWII Dudes vs Fishy Boi: The Trailer for Maximum Hilarity

FinnAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

🚨 Hold on to your hats, folks, because we’ve got a cinematic masterpiece heading our way! 🦈 Just kidding. It’s…

Fan Expo Canada 2025: Prepare for the Cosplay Apocalypse
Events

Fan Expo Canada 2025: Prepare for the Cosplay Apocalypse

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

  As if we needed another reason to question humanity, Fan Expo Canada 2025 happened. Yes, the Toronto Metro Convention…

CNN Thinks It’s Time to Gaslight You About Who the “Swing Voter” Really Is
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks It’s Time to Gaslight You About Who the “Swing Voter” Really Is

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by CNN to undermine our glorious President Trump and his landslide victory! They’re now whining…

Drive-in Theaters: From Pandemic Savior to Relic of the Past? CNN Asks the Tough Questions (Spoiler: Who Cares)
Elephant Reads CNN

Drive-in Theaters: From Pandemic Savior to Relic of the Past? CNN Asks the Tough Questions (Spoiler: Who Cares)

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

Drive-ins are making a comeback? More like a desperate grasp for relevance in a world that’s moved on! These relics…

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Latest posts

  • The Silence of the Rock Bartender 💀
  • Maryland Deathfest 2026 Aftermovie | 4 Days of Rain, 0 Days of Regret! ☔🤘
  • Backrooms Explained Because You Clearly Need Your Hand Held Through a Bunch of Empty Rooms and Confusing Theories and Also Whats Up with That Async Thingy and Dont Even Get Me Started on the Ending
  • CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway
  • Finally a book returns home after a century of socialist neglect somehow

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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