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Month: August 2025

Trump’s Terrific Tariffs: Prepare to Pay More for Everything, Peasants
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Terrific Tariffs: Prepare to Pay More for Everything, Peasants

Big ElephantAugust 7, 2025August 7, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is having a meltdown over President Trump’s brilliant new tariffs! They’re screeching about “trade wars” and…

California Dupes Busted Smuggling Nvidia’s Precious AI Goodies to the Motherland
Elephant Reads CNN

California Dupes Busted Smuggling Nvidia’s Precious AI Goodies to the Motherland

Big ElephantAugust 7, 2025August 7, 2025

Looks like those two Chinese nationals, Geng and Yang, thought they could pull a fast one on President Trump and…

The Cut: Orlando Bloom’s Boxing Comeback – Will He Knock Out His Career’s Failures Too
Breaking, Movie News

The Cut: Orlando Bloom’s Boxing Comeback – Will He Knock Out His Career’s Failures Too

FinnAugust 7, 2025August 7, 2025

Oh, look, another movie about a boxer! 🙄 Because we haven’t seen, like, a million of those already. This one’s…

CNN Thinks People Who Voted For Trump Might Be, Like, *Gasp* Maybe Possibly Thinking They Dun Goofed
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks People Who Voted For Trump Might Be, Like, *Gasp* Maybe Possibly Thinking They Dun Goofed

Big ElephantAugust 7, 2025August 7, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the liberal media to undermine our glorious President Trump! This CNN article is just…

Rotting Christ at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)
Videos

Rotting Christ at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 6, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…

Sleepytime Gorilla Museum at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)
Videos

Sleepytime Gorilla Museum at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 6, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…

Kerry King at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)
Videos

Kerry King at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 6, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…

Mastodon at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)
Videos

Mastodon at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 6, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…

Dying Fetus at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)
Videos

Dying Fetus at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 6, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…

Static X at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)
Videos

Static X at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/06/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 6, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…

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Latest posts

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  • Buckethead in Charlotte, NC (05/28/2026)
  • OH JOY Another Has Been from the 80s is Desperately Trying to be Relevant Again with Their Super Original Sounding Solo Album Called Dirty Foot Lane Wow What a Unique Title
  • Three Entirely Not Overhyped or Played Out Simpsons Episodes Are Being Held for Ransom Exclusively on Disney+

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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