🚨 BREAKING: A new speakeasy-themed wedding dungeon opens in Westlake, and yes, you MUST cosplay. The Green House & Seremoni Edit demand over-the-top fashion—think Kim Kardashian’s closet threw up on a Renaissance fair. RSVP or forever be basic. 🍸✨
📅 June 14, 2025
📍 10700 Westlake Drive, Austin, TX 78737
🕐 2:00pm–5:00pm PDT
Tastings? ✅ Styled ceremonies? ✅ Instagram traps? ✅✅✅
Come gawk, snack, and snap selfies like your feed depends on it—because it does.

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
