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Month: December 2025

NEW LOCATION: Because Apparently We Couldn’t Find a Parking Spot Close Enough to the Old One
Events

NEW LOCATION: Because Apparently We Couldn’t Find a Parking Spot Close Enough to the Old One

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 10, 2025

🚨NEW LOCATION🚨 Join us for a HUGE, completely FREE Christmas Toy Fest for families! 🎁 We’re blessing our community with…

When Red and Blue Team Leaders Finally Agree on Something: Punching People Is Bad, Actually
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

When Red and Blue Team Leaders Finally Agree on Something: Punching People Is Bad, Actually

Big ElephantDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

Liberal Governors Whine About Political Violence While Trying to Start a Civil War In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Pennsylvania’s…

Instacart’s AI Is Playing Grocery Store Price Tag Roulette and You’re the Human Lab Rat
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Instacart’s AI Is Playing Grocery Store Price Tag Roulette and You’re the Human Lab Rat

Big ElephantDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

The woke AI overlords at Instacart are now price-discriminating against American shoppers based on their perceived “price sensitivity” – because…

Kamala Harris Extends Book Tour to 2026 Because Apparently Even Her Memoir Needs a Second Chance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kamala Harris Extends Book Tour to 2026 Because Apparently Even Her Memoir Needs a Second Chance

Big ElephantDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

Kamala Harris announces 2026 book tour extension, now rebranded as ‘How to Lose an Election and Still Get Paid’ –…

KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026
Breaking, Music News

KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

GERMAN METAL TITANS KREATOR DESCEND UPON AMERICA LIKE A HORDE OF ENRAGED BAVARIAN WEREWOLVES WITH A NEW ALBUM CALLED ‘KRUSHERS…

Farming Simulator: Signature Edition: Because Nothing Says “Next-Gen” Like Watching Virtual Crops Grow
Breaking, Games News

Farming Simulator: Signature Edition: Because Nothing Says “Next-Gen” Like Watching Virtual Crops Grow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The Most Thrilling Agricultural Adventure Since Dirt Hits the Fan Lands on Nintendo Switch 2 🌾🚜 In…

Ex-JOURNEY’s Steve Perry Opens Up His Magical Closet of Nostalgia for Holiday Charity Auction (No, You Can’t Bid on His Sweaters)
Breaking, Music News

Ex-JOURNEY’s Steve Perry Opens Up His Magical Closet of Nostalgia for Holiday Charity Auction (No, You Can’t Bid on His Sweaters)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

Move Over, Santa! Steve Perry Is Coming To Town With A Holiday Auction That’ll Make You Sell Your Soul (And…

How to Not Die When Your Body Betrays You in 30 Minutes or Less
Events

How to Not Die When Your Body Betrays You in 30 Minutes or Less

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 10, 2025

Oops! Looks like the event organizers thought “surprise!” was a valid date on the calendar. The “Understanding and Managing Anaphylaxis”…

RECHT: Journalisten kämpfen mit KI wie ein Redakteur gegen ein Autocorner
Events

RECHT: Journalisten kämpfen mit KI wie ein Redakteur gegen ein Autocorner

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 10, 2025

🚨BREAKING: KI wird Journalisten nicht retten, aber ihre Jobs! Olaf Kretzschmar erklärt, wie man mit ChatGPT aus einer Meldung 500…

Study Finds Young People Now Watch More YouTube Content Than Zoetropes Of Galloping Horses
The Onion

Study Finds Young People Now Watch More YouTube Content Than Zoetropes Of Galloping Horses

FinnDecember 10, 2025

       LOS ANGELES—In a groundbreaking finding that reveals a major shift in media consumption habits, a new study published Wednesday…

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Latest posts

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  • Taller gratuito donde te harán creer que tu vida cambiará en 5 años pero probablemente terminarás igual de perdido
  • LETLIVE Might Possibly Maybe Consider New Music If They Feel Like It Someday Maybe

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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