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Day: January 22, 2026

Netflix Execs Confused as ‘The Abandons’ Gets Abandoned After a Month
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Execs Confused as ‘The Abandons’ Gets Abandoned After a Month

FinnJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

📺 Netflix has once again proven it treats its original series like a toddler with a new toy—plays with it…

No Rest for the Wicked’s Together Update Proves Misery Loves Company and by Company We Mean Lag and Friendly Fire
Breaking, Games News

No Rest for the Wicked’s Together Update Proves Misery Loves Company and by Company We Mean Lag and Friendly Fire

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

🎉 Oh, look! Moon Studios finally figured out how to let us torment our friends in No Rest for the…

Ex-ICE Boss Defends Memo That Lets Agents Kick Down Doors Without a Warrant, Says It’s Just a Fun Little Government Prank
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ex-ICE Boss Defends Memo That Lets Agents Kick Down Doors Without a Warrant, Says It’s Just a Fun Little Government Prank

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Finally, ICE Agents Can Protect Our Borders Without Radical Leftist Judges Interfering! It’s about time our brave ICE agents got…

Oscars 2026 Nominations: See Which Rich People Will Pretend They Don’t Care About Winning
Breaking, Movie News

Oscars 2026 Nominations: See Which Rich People Will Pretend They Don’t Care About Winning

FinnJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Buckle up, cinephiles and professional award-watchers, because the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences just dropped its annual list…

The Odds: Major Winter Storm Takes One Look at 1,500-Mile Stretch of Country, Says ‘Yeah, That’ll Do’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Odds: Major Winter Storm Takes One Look at 1,500-Mile Stretch of Country, Says ‘Yeah, That’ll Do’

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

BREAKING: leftist Weather Channel and their Deep State meteorologists at CNN are at it again, folks, trying to scare hard-working…

He-Man Flexes His Barely-Contained Pecs in a Nostalgia Grab So Desperate Even Skeletor Feels Bad for Him
Breaking, Movie News

He-Man Flexes His Barely-Contained Pecs in a Nostalgia Grab So Desperate Even Skeletor Feels Bad for Him

FinnJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Oh goodie, another cinematic universe! Because what we truly, desperately needed in the year of our Lord 2024 was a…

Consumers Keep Swiping Despite Prices That Are Just Vibes Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Consumers Keep Swiping Despite Prices That Are Just Vibes Now

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Under President Trump’s magnificent leadership, the American economy is absolutely booming, proving once again that only he can save us…

OPETH Finally Explains What ‘Paragraph Seven’ Means And It Will Change Your Life Forever (NOT CLICKBAIT)
Breaking, Music News

OPETH Finally Explains What ‘Paragraph Seven’ Means And It Will Change Your Life Forever (NOT CLICKBAIT)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

OPETH is back, and they’ve got a new video for you, you lucky, lucky degenerates. 🤘 If you’re looking for…

Unauthorized Wayne Static Doc Funded by Matt Zane Because Dead Guys Can’t Sue
Breaking, Music News

Unauthorized Wayne Static Doc Funded by Matt Zane Because Dead Guys Can’t Sue

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Well, well, well, grab your popcorn and your hazmat suits, because the unauthorized documentary drama of the decade is back…

Woman Throws Self On Grenade By Answering Call From Dysregulated Friend
The Onion

Woman Throws Self On Grenade By Answering Call From Dysregulated Friend

FinnJanuary 22, 2026

       MILFORD, MA—Wincing at the blast of guttural sobs erupting from the speaker as she picked up, local woman Anna…

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Latest posts

  • Liberal NY coffee shop bans patriot Rep Dan Goldman obviously
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  • Finally, America beats China with cheaper AI glasses apparently
  • BREAKING ORACLE SIGHTING CONFIRMED NOW
  • BREAKING ORANGE ORACLE SPEAKS FROM BEYOND

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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