John Bolton Pleads Guilty, Sentenced To 5-Year Imprisonment At SeaWorld
SAN DIEGO, CA — According to breaking news reports, John Bolton agreed to plead guilty to one count of…
Day: June 4, 2026
Trump Diverts All Science Funding Into Locating The Smurfs
WASHINGTON—Instituting a massive overhaul to the federal government’s scientific grant system in order to find the mythical cartoon characters,…
Intensive Bible Study Reveals Elijah And Elisha Are Two Different People
WILBURTON, OK — An intensive Bible study reportedly ended with the dramatic revelation that Elijah and Elisha are two…
Man Needing Break From Reality Turns On CNN
FRANKLIN, KY — Following a long day at work in the middle of what had been a stressful week…
What To Know About ‘Backrooms’
In a record-breaking opening weekend for A24, horror movie Backrooms brought in $81 million at the domestic box office.…
Liberal celebrities use trash TV to bond with brainwashed youth somehow
It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report on the latest “achievements” of those pesky Democrats…
Ceasefire Rages Across Middle East
Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer,…
Trump-heroically battles treasonous sanctuary cities and idiot states somehow still
Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the fake news media…
Oh Joy Another Remake of a Game You Barely Remember from Your Childhood That Will Probably Ruin Your Nostalgia and Leave You Questioning Every Life Choice
The 7th Guest Remake is finally here, and it’s a real treat for those who love horror games, puzzles, and…
Elden Ring Tarnished Edition Because You Clearly Didn’t Waste Enough Time Playing the Base Game Already New Stuff Added to Further Ruin Your Social Life
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some super exciting news? 🚀🎉 I mean, who isn’t hyped about playing Elden…