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Month: June 2026

Hims Introduces New Line Of Folders To Hold In Front Of Embarrassing Boners
The Onion

Hims Introduces New Line Of Folders To Hold In Front Of Embarrassing Boners

FinnJune 10, 2026

       SAN FRANCISCO—Expanding their offerings of erectile health products, male-focused wellness brand Hims announced a new line of folders Wednesday…

Sickening liberal enabler claims ignorance of Epstein’s filthy deeds
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sickening liberal enabler claims ignorance of Epstein’s filthy deeds

Big ElephantJune 10, 2026June 10, 2026

Oh boy, are you folks in for a treat. With our fearless leader, President Donald Trump, at the helm, America…

Events

Banques en panique mode turbo pour sauver leur peau grâce à l’innovation

Chuck B. BallsyJune 10, 2026

Oh boy, les banques canadiennes sont dans le bain 🤑 Le CFQ vous invite à explorer comment les banques canadiennes…

Finally a terrorist pays for killing our brave American heroes somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Finally a terrorist pays for killing our brave American heroes somehow

Big ElephantJune 10, 2026June 10, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, the fake news media is at it again, spreading their liberal lies and propaganda about our…

Woke NYC ruins Knicks games with absurd security overkill again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Woke NYC ruins Knicks games with absurd security overkill again

Big ElephantJune 10, 2026June 10, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the fake news media…

Events

Studio40 The Most Epic Thing You’ve Never Heard Of Showcase

Chuck B. BallsyJune 10, 2026

Get ready for some sick beats at NYPL’s Studio40! 🎵 🎉 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the…

Events

Warning Kids About Creeps Without Totally Freaking Them Out

Chuck B. BallsyJune 10, 2026

📚 Free webinar alert! 📚 👀 Learn about CSA Centre’s Communicating with Children Guide 📝 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy,…

Events

Get Ready for the Most Epic Traffic Jam of Your Life at 2026 FuelFest Southern California

Chuck B. BallsyJune 10, 2026

FuelFest is coming to OC Fair & Event Center on June 13th! 🚗💨 🎉 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately…

Stranger Things Broadway Show Finally Runs Out of Monopoly Money to Waste on This Trainwreck
Breaking, Movie News

Stranger Things Broadway Show Finally Runs Out of Monopoly Money to Waste on This Trainwreck

FinnJune 9, 2026June 9, 2026

The Stranger Things Broadway play is finally ending, and we can’t wait to celebrate the fact that we’ll no longer…

California voter fraud facts ignored by fake news again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

California voter fraud facts ignored by fake news again

Big ElephantJune 9, 2026June 9, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be writing about the latest…

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Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Picnic Fest in History aka The Great Nosh NYC Picnic Festival 2026 Where Youll Definitely Eat Too Much Food
  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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