NYPD Attempts To Deter Terrorists At NBA Finals By Doubling Assassination Fees
The post NYPD Attempts To Deter Terrorists At NBA Finals By Doubling Assassination Fees appeared first on The Onion.…
Month: June 2026
Playskool Introduces ‘My First Hobo Camp’ For California Children
U.S. — Toy manufacturer Playskool unveiled its latest educational playset this week called “My First Hobo Camp”, with the…
Trump Claims He Never Promised A Livable Country
The post Trump Claims He Never Promised A Livable Country appeared first on The Onion. The post Trump Claims…
California Reminds Voters There Are Just 30 Days Left To Vote In Last Tuesday’s Election
LOS ANGELES, CA — California election officials reminded voters over the weekend that there are just 30 days left…
Super Official Totally Not Made Up Book About SLIPKNOT That They Definitely Didnt Try To Stop From Being Written All About Their Rise To Fame And The Chaos
Breaking news: the world is finally getting a book about Slipknot, and we’re all just thrilled 🤩🎉. I mean, who…
Ninja Theory Finally Admits They Got Bored And Stopped Working On Project Mara Because Let’s Be Real It Was Never Going To Be As Cool As DmC Anyway
Well, well, well, looks like all you Ninja Theory fans out there are in for a major disappointment 🤕. The…
King’s Voice Now Available for Free to Seniors Who Still Think They’re Relevant
Get ready for a blast from the past! 🎸 Join Allan Coffin, Elvis tribute artist, on June 24th at 2…
L.A. Vote Update: Spencer Pratt Now At Negative One Billion Votes
LOS ANGELES, CA — After the latest ballot drop, Los Angeles officials released an updated vote tally showing candidate…
SEGA Finally Decides to Explain What the Heck Theyre Doing with GenAI in Crazy Taxi: World Tour Because Apparently Nobody Had a Clue
The world of gaming is about to get a whole lot crazier, folks, and not just because of the impending…
Snooze fest: Crazy Horse kin hid from America’s greatness obviously
Wow, can you believe the absolute nonsense that’s been going on in our great nation? I mean, it’s 2026 and…