Time Traveler From Year 3247 Warns They’re Still Making ‘Toy Story’ Movies
NEW YORK, NY — Citizens of the year 2026 were left confused on Tuesday after a rift in the…
Month: June 2026
Tesla Launches New Model Of Explosions
The post Tesla Launches New Model Of Explosions appeared first on The Onion. The post Tesla Launches New Model…
Gas Pump Now Asks If You Want Car Wash, Receipt, Rewards, And If You Know The Airspeed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow
U.S. — Before allowing customers to fill up with gas, pumps will now ask about a potential car wash,…
Oh Joy Another Opportunity to Get Lost in the Woods with a Bunch of Idiots in the Newly Announced Blair Witch Movie That Nobody Asked For Coming 2027
You won’t believe that a film student can stand facing a wall… again 🙄. The Blair Witch franchise is back,…
ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Prediction for June 23 2026 Revealed
THE ORACLE SPEAKS Truth Revealed About Fake News Corruption Scandals Unfolding Now Milton TruthwellChief Oracle Interpretation Officer Dr. Milton Truthwell…
‘Supergirl’ To Show That Girls Can Be Just As Good As Boys At Everything Except Box Office
U.S. — When Supergirl releases in theaters on June 26, executives from Warner Bros. Pictures expressed confidence that the…
Why Every Band Announces A Farewell Tour And Never Leaves
JACKAL RESEARCH DIVISION REPORT #001 Scientists Confirm Retirement In Rock Music Is Merely A Suggestion After decades of painstaking research,…
Wilson Unveils Tennis Balls With Even More Smell
CHICAGO—Calling the update a major breakthrough for players who enjoy new-ball smell, Wilson Sporting Goods officials unveiled a new…
Rick Astley Still Not Retired Apparently
In the midst of his headline outdoor shows, because apparently retirement is just a suggestion, Rick Astley managed to dazzle…
Duran Duran’s umpteenth farewell gift, Free To Love remixed to death apparently
Oh joy, another remix album to add to the never-ending pile of rehashed goodness. Duran Duran, the band that refuses…