Nation Finally Over Quarter Life Crisis
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the extreme heat wave in the eastern US, and folks, I almost spilled…
Month: July 2026
Giant Flag Engulfs Minnesota Town Because Subtlety Is Overrated
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A gigantic American flag, measuring 19 by 36 feet, was discovered…
Trump’s Back Online Because You Demanded It Apparently
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump Accounts, a new federal savings and investment vehicle for…
THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 4 2026
In a shocking turn of events, THE ORANGE ORACLE, also known as Donald Trump, has taken to Truth Social to…
ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 4 2026
The latest TRANSMISSION from THE ORANGE ORACLE has been received, and it’s a doozy. In a move that has left…
Britain Finds Out It’s Been Dumped By America Via Messenger
Folks, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about the 250th anniversary of America’s independence from Britain, and I’m thinking,…
Man somehow survives being buried alive for over a week miraculously
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and watching the news, and I just can’t believe what I’m seeing. There’s this guy,…
ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 4 2026
The ORANGE ORACLE has spoken, and the nation is once again abuzz with the latest TRANSMISSION from the desk of…
Nation Somehow Manages To Contain Excitement For Soccer
The World Cup has finally arrived in the US, and I’m having a blast reading about it while sipping my…
ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on given date
Breaking News: THE ORANGE ORACLE Issues Proclamation from Mount Rushmore In a move that has left pundits scrambling to decipher…