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Barefoot Ed Sheeran Introduces Sock Puppets That Will Open For Him On Tour

JT

      

PHILADELPHIA—Shambling barefoot into a press conference to promote his next show, English artist Ed Sheeran introduced reporters Thursday to the sock puppets he had booked to open for him on his stadium tour. “This is, uh, Jimmy and his songwriting partner, Freddie,” said the 35-year-old musician, who confirmed the white cotton duo would take the stage before him at all 10 remaining dates on his North American Loop Tour. “I discovered these young up-and-comers in my dressing room late, late, late last night and decided they deserved a chance to shine. They are sensational and so excited to be opening for me. I think they’re all anyone is going to be talking about. I couldn’t be happier.” At press time, Sheeran had gasped after one of the sock puppets squeaked “Free Palestine!” into the microphone.

The post Barefoot Ed Sheeran Introduces Sock Puppets That Will Open For Him On Tour appeared first on The Onion.

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Finn

Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.

Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.

Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.

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